Mothers are always seen as generous, and perfect to a fault. They can be anything but wrong because aren’t they wired to be infallible? When Anamika Joshi sat down to compose a poem for her mother, she pondered over this, looking back at her life of which her mother-flawless, large-hearted, was the most prominent part. “And for the first time, it hit me that in its quest to carve out an impeccable persona of mother, the society has been putting a lot of pressure on women.
I also felt in retrospect that I too have been part of the tirade, however, unintentionally,” she says. This is how Ma Tum Bhi Galat Ho Sakti Ho, a poignant ode to moms came about. The poem is an apology from a child for being selfish, as it dawns on her that mothers are human and can commit mistakes. The heartfelt outpour, which Joshi recited too at The Sahitya Project, has tugged on the heart strings of millions of people. The video has garnered nine lakh views on YouTube, besides being shared on other social media platform.
“I had not expected it to get such a phenomenal response when I wrote it. I have received thousands of messages from people, saying my words resonate with their feelings- that we expect way too much from our moms,” the 33-year-old says who wrote Ma Tum Bhi Galat Ho Sakti Ho as part of The Sahitya Project to celebrate Mother’s Day. “Social media was flooded with tributes that exalted mothers as epitome of perfection, superwomen who are multi-taskers. It never occurs to any of us that they are not super humans but have to be so because we have set the standards so high for them.
I wanted the world to recognise her as a mortal, to understand that if she transgresses, it does not make her less of a mother,” says Joshi, who is a copywriter by profession, says. The verse sums up how the daughter expected her mother to be the epitome of perfection, sometimes even stopping her from being her own self. “I remember when I was growing up, my mother got few job offers and we selfishly asked her to not take it up, giving reasons like we want her to be home once we come back from school. It was a subtle attempt to curb her from being an individual,” she shares.
Ma Tum Bhi Galat Ho Sakti Ho attempts to break this stereotype- that a mother’s life has to revolve around her kids, that she has to always be faultless in all that she does. “We always say a mother’s happiness lies in her kids. Why cannot it be the other way round? If she can generously overlook our faults and gaffes, why is she berated?,” she asks.
Joshi shares that as she grew up, she was overwrought with guilt that her mother’s own identity was being overshadowed by her role as a mom. “The entire concept that kids are your life is plain wrong; children are just a part of your life. A mother should be allowed to take ownership of her individuality. Just because she is a mother, she is not her children’s fiefdom,” she sums up.
From the verse
Jiss maa se humne sab kuch seekha Woh ta umr hum bacchon se seekhne ki koshish karti rahi
Ki maa hokar kahin main galat na ho jaaun Jaisa baccha chahe waisa hi bankar dikhaaun
Toh aaj maa, main aapse na maafi maangti hun Wada karti hun ki aapke saath khadi rahungi Aap sahi karo ya galat aapse judi rahungi