Together, at home and at work With so many marriages falling apart around us, this couple --- Dr Ch Mohana Vamsy, chief surgical oncologist and founder Omega Hospitals and his wife Dr Padmaja, a gynaecologist, tells us that they stay close as a couple, emotionally and spiritually. “Marriages fall apart more frequently now because of increasing intolerance and unreal expectations. To keep a marriage going strong emotionally and spiritually, the couple should respect each other’s feelings, support each other’s dreams, allow space to grow and accept the differences,” says Dr Vamsy.
They have been married for 25 years now and they feel running a business together offers the best of both worlds. “We keep ourselves in love by being involved in each others lives at work and at home. Pursuing a professional dream with someone you love and respect, while getting a chance to spend more time with them -- there is nothing like it,” adds the doctor.
Coming together
Taking us on a trip down memory lane, while describing his feeling in the days leading up to the wedding, Vamsy says, “There was a mixed feeling of elation, expectation and some trepidation of how I would take care of my new family.” “If you could store up only one hour’s worth of memory in our minds, I would store the time when my newly-wed bride left her parental home and tied up the rest of her life with mine,” he reminisces.
Looking back and talking about her favourite memory of the wedding day, the wife, Dr Padmaja, says, “It was the quiet and simple ceremony we had in the familiar comfort of my own home with only our close family and friends without much pomp and fanfare.”
The Million-Dollar Question
Even though theirs is an arranged marriage, where the couple met only formally through their families, he says with confidence, “But we did start dating after we got married and that was as much fun as any other romantic date.”
So was he nervous? “I was most nervous about being accepted with all my quirks and idiosyncrasies, being a post graduate at that time I was also nervous about how I would maintain my new wife and the children that would come given my low salary. And at the same time I was also excited about discovering what my wife and I would have in common and what new things I would learn from her and she from me. I was also excited at the thought of having children of my own,” shares Dr Vamsy.
The secret
What’s the secret to their lasting marriage? Even after 25 years of marriage, true love still reigns, says Vamsy. “I can’t really remember which one was our first date. Realisation of being in love did not occur at one particular moment. It built up slowly as we started understanding each other and supporting each other.” “I have learnt from marriage that commitment comes with some compromise, some security, some companionship, and affectionate memories for a lifetime. The best thing about being married is having someone to come home to and knowing that that person cares for you and will stand by you. My best part about my wife is her bottomless patience and tolerance of me. She likes it that I am a good father and take care of the children,” adds Dr Vamsy. The couple have two children --- Namratha and Haragovind, says, “The most adventurous thing we did together was to start a hospital on our own without knowing how it would work out.”.
The lessons
Everyone in a relationship argues, but what qualifies your relationship is how one handles it. Fighting is the key ingredient in any relationship. “It will bring you to a better understanding and broader horizons. Yes, we do have fights and disagreements like all people living under one roof. In the beginning, we overcame them with the sweet nothings of newly weds and later we overcame them with a deeper understanding and acceptance of each other nature,” explains Dr Padmaja.