She met him at her brother’s wedding, fell for him, stalked him, drove him crazy and married her Mr Right. After 24 year of marital bliss, Sapna, a teacher and a writer and Neeraj Jain, a corporate honcho, feel, “It just seemed right...still does.”
He was a typical Delhi-born, until he met her, with roots in Multan and also comes from a devout background.
She a typical Bombay brat, a Maharashtrian having lived the first 21 years of her life there.
Sapna says, “It was definitely not love at first sight. He was Mr Goody two shoes and I was the eternal rebel. Within a few months though I fell hook, line and sinker. He is that kind of a man, an old soul in a new bottle. I stalked him, drove him absolutely crazy. We both don’t really know when we fell in love.”
For the past 24 years he has been the perfect foil to her madness – calm and composed at all times. “If there is one thing that I like about him, it is that he gives me my space. He has never asked me to do anything I do not believe in. In fact, he is the wind beneath my wings. If there is anyone proud of my achievements, it is him. He has my back, always. He treats me as an equal and I trust his judgement implicitly,” says Sapna, who is currently working on a collection of short stories.
Agreeing to disagree
The couple do not fight but argue. “How we argue? We drive each other up the wall. But right at the beginning we both decided one thing. To agree to disagree. We have definite and varied opinions, thanks to our different upbringings, regarding food, religion, politics. And we both speak our minds but neither wants to change the other person. That is important to grow together and yet apart. The good part is that our value systems our exactly the same. That helps, especially in bringing up the our child,” explains Sapna.
So much together
The couple have one son , Arjun, who is pursuing his engineering in computer science at VIT. So how do they keep the romance alive? “We share some similar joys. We are crazy about movies and we don’t miss any (Hindi, Telugu dubbed in Hindi, Bhojpuri, English) of them. We both can eat a south Indian idli -dosa meal any time of the day (for breakfast, lunch or dinner and all three times too) and love to drive and hence never miss an opportunity to go on a road trip. Actually we just love to travel. We don’t grumble at doing stuff the other likes, however boring or irritating it may be,” says Sapna, who did her graduation from St Xavier’s College.
No egos here!
Being married is a responsibility that comes with great rewards as you stand by each other through thick and thin. Sapna says, “Neeraj is my best friend. I can share my deepest fears, craziest ideas, absolutely everything with him and still not be judged.”
She further adds, “He is a no nonsense and zero demanding husband and rooted in simplicity.”
It is easy to be in love, but it is not enough to sustain a long term relationship, says the very talented, lovely and a vivacious lady, who loves to sing and meditate.
“The most important thing I have learnt from my marriage is you can’t have an inflated ego. Accept that sometimes he is right, sometimes you are. It is not a race. In matters of the heart the fun is more in losing than winning.”