Arranged with Love
Going back in time
“We first met at her residence in Hyderabad along with our parents and spent some time talking to each other. She seemed the affectionate and understanding type of person and seemed to be the right one for me. She also came across as a humble and down to earth person. Since I was away for training, we used to speak mostly on phone and had long conversations running into hours. There were no mobiles and my telephone bills used to consume one-third of my salary,” recalls the1993 batch IRS officer.
Supriya, who did her MS (Nutrition) from Bridgeport University, USA adds, “Marriage was solemnised within six weeks. There was not much scope to meet and we met just once over dinner at a restaurant.”
Six weeks passed in a jiffy and she was literally running around shopping in Hyderabad, Mumbai and Kolkata.
“I wanted to learn his preferences but he didn’t show interest in clothes and jewellery, though he was always neatly dressed. Even today , all his clothes and shoes picked up by me and my mother and he simply wears what is available in closet,” she adds.
Typical Telugu Wedding
They got engaged and the wedding took place the day after. “After engagement, we had a long chat on phone after going back home that we hardly had any time to sleep. But I was full of energy and excitement the next morning. One funny thing I remember was I didn’t want to wear the traditional dhoti with pagdi but accepted only after she called. I wanted to wear a white shirt and trousers but elders wanted a typical Telugu wedding,” recalls Prasad Reddy.
But Supriya was all excited, she exclaims, “when he tied the mangalsutra amidst chanting of hymns by the priests. I wore traditional Kanchi sarees for both the engagement and wedding. I was asked to step on his feet after he did the same. The priest was insistent but I didn’t want to because of immense love and respect for him. He encouraged me and I did it. I had number of relatives who flew in from the US for the occasion and was excited to see so many of them coming all the way.”
All couples encounter frustrations. They have to deal with fights from time to time. But it is very important to make sure they keep the communication open, and navigate with honesty and mutual respect. “Whenever I find him angry or irritated, I just try to calm him down. If it seems difficult, I wait for an hour or two for him to cool down. I think that the patience and ability to see off difficult periods is the main secret of sustaining love and relationships,” says Supriya.
The couple, who has two daughters- Darshana and Jahnavi, feels that trust, understanding and commitment is what drives towards a successful marriage. “The trust reposed in me and freedom to go out and spend time with friends, has helped me to make friends across a wide spectrum of society. This in turn helped me to grow and broaden my horizon. Many people from a different professions or business or even a different civil service are surprised that I know so much about their work. A nagging or a restrictive wife would have made it difficult for me to spend so much time outside home and have such a wide spectrum of understanding about different sections of society. This has in turn helped us to make friends and to attend and interact with so many celebrities at so many events,” he says and adds, “I make it a point to learn about each and every sector of society by interacting with successful people in that field . Without an understanding wife who is ready to adjust and allow that kind of freedom and as much time as required, it would not have been possible. As she takes care of everything at home and matters pertaining to children, it became that much easier.”
Learning from each other
The best thing about marriage is that husband and wife supplement and complement each other. “I have become more devotional in her company. Also having accompanied her and many of her relatives to many temples across India or made arrangements for them, I earned a few brownie points before God as well as among all relatives. The most important things I learned from her are unconditional love and simplicity, though I can’t say I have learnt them fully. Her love, affection and concern seem unlimited and unending,” says Prasad Reddy.
“What I learnt from him is confidence and bravery. He can take on in any situation and fears none. I am a little tentative but tried to become more confident. I always wondered his ability to speak forthright and fearlessly in front of even his bosses right from his first days in service and tried to be a little confident like him,” she adds.