Quick Marriage Proposal
Well, that was fast. After only 20 days of dating and a whirlwind engagement, Parneet Singh Sachdev, IRS, Principal Director Income Tax (Investigation), and Dr Tanvir were married. “It was an arranged marriage. We met at the house of a mutual friend of our parents and got married in 20 days. We started dating after marriage,” recalls Parneet.
Sharing the favourite memory of their wedding day, Tanvir says, “After the ceremony, my paayal got caught in the wedding dress and I couldn’t get up. My husband leaned forward and got it removed it. I was relieved to know that he wasn’t the chauvinistic sorts.”
And Parneet adds, “We got married forenoon. After marriage the bride and groom are supposed to share lunch. A plate overflowing with food was brought to us along with an envelope containing money as a blessing for the bride. My wife picked up the envelope and presented the entire food to me. I looked at her and finished the plate. It was such a great experience.”
Simmering on a low flame
It didn’t happen overnight, but they slowly started falling in love. “I fell in love with him in the true sense only after our wedding. He is caring, patient and an easygoing person. He never gets bugged with me over anything. I was a laid back person and I learnt to be meticulous and keep time from him,” says Tanvir and Parneet adds, “The moment I placed the engagement ring on her finger, I felt that I was in love with her. One can always speak to her about anything. She exudes inner peace. From Tanvir I’ve learnt about inner peace, learnt how not to judge any other human and to focus on all the goodness in life. ”
Taking control of precious moments
No two people are going to agree on everything, fighting is the sign of a healthy relationship. “Time doesn’t have a reverse button. Time wasted in not speaking to each other or being angry is precious moments squandered which won’t return. A disagreeable discussion can be held without a combat. We allow each other to let off steam and don’t interfere when the other person wants to do so. Once things are calm, discussion can take place,” says Parneet.
Love grows over time
Did their love evaporate after the wedding? Even after 24 years of marriage, the two still get excited seeing each other. “We don’t do anything. Love just happens. It can’t be analysed. It is just a divine gift which is received effortlessly. However, if we consciously try and appreciate the things the other person does including the achievements of the partner, love and respect grow,” says the bureaucrat.
The couple has two sons – Sukhsahegj (19) and Sarguun (16). They feel, “There isn’t anything so hard about marriage, but the fact that we have to move after a few years can be tough. Especially so as it involves two careers.”
“Your house becomes a home. You don’t seeking happiness outside. You know there is someone waiting for you always,” says Parneet.