HYDERABAD:
First meeting
They met through an arranged set-up at Saurabh’s place in Delhi. Amisha was undergoing training at National Academy of Direct Taxes, Nagpur while Saurabh was posted as an instructor in an Army Training Establishment, Bangalore. Amisha had met for prospective grooms previously while Saurabh had a dubious record of having had a ‘second meeting without guardians’ with 38 prospective brides (first meeting - no count). “Over a two hour meeting and three cups of tea, leaving Saurabh’s sister quite exasperated, we decided that more time to know and understand each other was required. This was followed by a seven month ‘courtship’ mostly over telephone and emails (Bangalore to Nagpur). One fine day my father and Saurabh’s mother were shocked to learn about the ‘online’ courtship. An ultimatum, issued to either ‘go ahead’ or ‘end it all’, prompted both of us to take the plunge,” says the IRS officer Amisha Srivastava Gupt.
Pre-wedding blues
For Amisha getting married, the ceremonies, bridal couture, settling down in life, having her home was the most exciting thing. “But I did have doubts about service compatibility with an army officer, postings, etc. I had always wanted a bespectacled, simple husband, from a small town, comfortable in kurta pyjama with intellectual equality. The groom in question was a flamboyant army officer from Delhi, seldom wore kurta pyjama, had ten different uniforms and was most comfortable when formally dressed including ‘oxford pattern shoes’. Our IQ and intelligence did seem to match, however,” says Amisha.
And Saurabh was excited to move out of the single officers’ accommodation to his own home. “I was apprehensive about the girl’s compatibility with my family. I had a long list of required QRs (Qualitative Requirements) with a minimum acceptability limit. I dad always envisioned someone from Delhi, with a matching IQ, maturity, a professional working woman, fluent in English and a minimum height of 5 ft 8 inches. The foremost qualities matched for the first time. But what about postings? Would she blend with my family ? And she was barely 5 ft for my 6ft 1 inch!,” says the Lt Col, who was recently awarded the Vice Chief of Army Staff Commendation Card for excellence in his field.
Favourite memory of wedding day
Looking back, and sharing the special moment of the big day, Saurabh says, “I was rushing my relatives to be on time to avoid the proverbial late arrival of the baraat and first sight of Amisha as a bride are what I can never forget. My youngest unmarried sister-in-law had demanded a diamond ring from me for the wedding. When the time came to give her the gift (a part of the ceremony) I started putting the ring on her finger, Amisha screamed “no” and everyone burst out laughing. Eventually the ring was handed over to her.” Amisha says, “When I first looked at myself in the mirror after dressing up in my wedding finery, and felt no less than Miss India.”
First acknowledgement of love
“Just before the commitment for wedding, I had a dream wherein I had married someone else and met Amisha somewhere. On realising that I had not married her and had perhaps lost her forever, I started sobbing hysterically in the dream. Woke up and the first thing I did was to propose to her,” says Saurabh.
“The fact that I wanted to marry him was clear to me within two days of talking to Saurabh. But that was mainly because I liked talking to him and felt that we were intellectually very compatible. Love came gradually, much later, when I started living with him, his likes and dislikes, his ego, his extreme protectiveness, his small little habits, sometimes endearing sometimes irritating. Love kept coming through all of that, is still coming, and will go on all our lives,” says Amisha.
Most adventurous thing
The couple rode a tandem (double) bike in Kodaikanal. “Amisha, sitting behind, kept pedalling furiously while I was desperately trying to brake to avoid an oncoming truck. The bike was finally stopped when I put my feet on the ground,” recalls Saurabh.
Hardest thing about marriage
Taking time out from busy schedules for our daughter. Saurabh’s frequent outstation visits and Amisha’s volatile temperament from December to Marech, every year, handling the maids and tackling days she maid decides not to come and the dreaded word ‘dumma’.
Model marriage
“From Sooraj Barjatiya movies - plenty of money, ideal relatives, no work, ancestral property, fail proof support system and everyone around you looking stunning 24x7. Unfortunately there is no such thing in reality. A model marriage cannot be quantified / qualified. Practically, if both partners are determined to make the marriage work despite all odds, any marriage can evolve into a model marriage. So, by that measure, we think ours is a model marriage because we are committed to make it one,” says Amisha.
Most important things about marriage
“Marriage provides a reassurance that there is someone who will always be there for you, no matter what, perhaps even belying the adage “blood is thicker than water”. Trust, equality, respect and understanding follow naturally in a family,” feels Amisha.
Strenghtening the bond
Understanding each other is the important thing about marriage. “Give each other space – understand each other, accept other’s limitations as a human, trust each other, divide work and appreciate and praise each other where due. And dont forget to laugh at each other and at self. To summarise - ADJUST....ADJUST....ADJUST,” they say.
What they love
Surprises - Saurabh handles all finances Amisha is clueless even about her own salary.
Shocks - Being woken up at 2 am to discuss some case under section xyz of the Income Tax Act.
Mortal wound - The first (and thankfully last) ‘upma’ Amisha cooked after marriage. Needless to say, upma was struck off from my list of favourite food.
Perils - Grading Amisha the best looker in a room and being labeled a ’typical male’ for having ‘checked’ out all the females in the room.
Blessings - No matter how hard a day you have had at the office, you come back home and still feel like a king / queen!
Idiosyncrasies - Amisha draining the batteries of all mobiles, laptops, iPads, tablets, etc playing games and watching movies. Her adeptness at making any gadget “hang”. Saurabh obsession with cleanliness - a plate or cup left unattended for more than six seconds finds its way to the sink even if a refill is awaited and clean clothes laid out on the bed are found in the washing machine.
Love - That feeling of acute uneasiness after a fight till we make up.