HYDERABAD: Telangana registered a marked rise in crimes against women from 2020 to 2021, according to the latest National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) reports. It lags behind 31 entities (states and union territories) in the country as far as Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is concerned. The figures surely depict a story. CE delved into underlying factors of the generosity of a woman’s heart that gets her in trouble and brought in experts to gain different perspectives on the factors that lead to abuse, ahead of International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.
They were right there, all the red flags. But we consciously chose to ignore them. Their voice went from reserved to rough whenever a touchy topic was broached. Or how their anger, directed initially towards us during an aggressively animated conversation, would unleash itself around inanimate objects. Because they wouldn’t unfurl their fury on us. Not yet anyway.
The look that carried with it a tinge of aggression when we cracked an innocent joke at their expense; the belligerent yet bashful attempts to cajole us; that not-so-innocent shove during a particularly combative confrontation — it was all right there, all the red flags. This is why the UN has made observances like International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women observed on November 25, necessary so that we can shed the rose-tinted glasses and read the signs for what they are — red flags.
But how does one spot these red flags, which start so innocently, so nonchalantly? When we get dazed by the idea of love, co-dependency or other reasons, we decide to stay. The experts share a few facts that can put sexual/physical violence and emotional abuse at bay through education, practising listening to our intuition and creating healthy boundaries.
Way out of IPV
Reasons for IPV against intuition
Psychological reasons
Stockholm syndrome or Trauma Bonding: Is a psychological response to captivity and abuse. Any person with Stockholm Syndrome develops positive associations with their captors or abusers while going against their intuition. It starts as emotional abuse, unfolding into sexual and physical abuse.
Symptoms of Stockholm syndrome
Positive feelings towards the spouse or abuser
Sympathy and excuses for their abusive behaviour
Negative feelings toward anyone who helps get out of abuse
Situational reasons
All of us are not financially independent when we have financial independence; there are cultural reasons, and family obligations, and the list is endless.
Financial dependency n Limited support network n Family obligations
Protecting of children n Religious and cultural obligations
Emotional reasons
Guilt or shame n Fear of retribution
Hope for a better future n Sense of obligation