HYDERABAD: From Charminar to Cyber Towers, Hyderabad’s architecture has been iconic. But some buildings just make you go, “LOL... Who approved these?”
Hitex Charminar Replica
Every time I drive by the ‘Hitex Charminar’ I wonder if someone built this as a backup plan in case the real Charminar went missing. Did we misplace the original one already, or were we too lazy to drive 22 km to show it to someone? It’s like the replica is just waiting for an IT manager to point at it and say, “Look, there’s Charminar!”— conveniently avoiding Hyderabad’s traffic nightmares. Let’s face it, the only reason this exists is to give drug dealers a recognisable landmark to meet at. Because, let’s be honest, no one’s visiting this for sightseeing.
Fish Building
And then we have the ‘Fish Building’, or as I like to call it, ‘The National Fisheries Development Board’s biggest inside joke’. Sure, it’s meant to look like a fish for obvious reasons, but the real purpose? Providing endless comedy. I mean, if the fisheries department looks like a fish, I’m genuinely concerned about what the gynaecology department in Hyderabad might look like. Fun fact: this fish doesn’t swim against the tide; it swims against the tiles. And bonus — this is probably the only fish in the world that has fans built into its fins.
Secunderabad Clock Tower
They say a broken clock is right twice a day, but who’s got time to even look at a clock anymore? Our eyes are mostly on screens these days, which means we are always aware of the time. But if you would like to teach a Gen Z kid the meaning of this proverb, then you’ve got to take them to the clock tower. The real use of this clock tower is not time-related anymore; it’s geography-related. Its most important function today is as a landmark for giving directions. ‘Take a left after the clock tower’ is about as useful as this thing gets now.
Birla Planetarium
The ‘Birla Planetarium’ — the place where my childhood wonder about space started. It was the first spot where I saw stars, galaxies, and planets without needing NASA’s budget. But recently, it’s less about the stars and more about ‘Mission Mangal’, making it more like the ‘Birla Propagandarium’.
The only way you’ll see stars there now is if you go in already high. The entry fee is cheap, but so is the thrill these days. It really lost its shine after Netflix dropped ‘Cosmos’. I mean, when you’ve got Neil deGrasse Tyson explaining the universe to you at home, why bother getting stuck in traffic, climbing a hill, sitting in dusty chairs, and watching Modiji along with the other stars?
Shilpakala Vedika
Shilpakala Vedika is supposed to be the Madison Square Garden of Hyderabad — or so they’d like us to believe. Sure, legends like Zakir Khan in stand-up and Zakir Hussain in classical music have graced its stage, and once you’re inside, you can almost pretend you’re at Madison Square Garden... if you squint hard enough. But step outside, and boom — you’re suddenly at Lumbini Park, surrounded by vendors pushing sweet corn, fake earrings, college kids making out.
And if you’ve forgotten a gift for Anoushka Shankar, no worries! Just grab a wooden sitar from one of the stalls and tell her it’s ‘inspired by the Hitex Charminar’.
(The writer’s views are his own)