If the word auto triggers nostalgia, congratulations — you’ve made it in life. But if you’ve made it in life and autos are still relevant to you, then you’re either convincing people you’re humble or you’re Saif Ali Khan.
For those still hustling their way through life one auto ride at a time, the auto is like Salman Khan — we grew up with it, it’s still everywhere, and despite all odds, it refuses to retire. And with at least one in
10 autos in every city proudly displaying a Salman Khan sticker on the back, the analogy fits even better.
Lately, I’ve been confused — has the design of an auto never changed or is it just the same old auto that once came with a meter now arriving with an OTP? After careful observation (purely for research and not because of my financial condition), I’ve realised — both are true.
The same yellow triangle on wheels that once dropped you to school now proudly flashes ‘Captain is arriving’ on an app. And even the so-called modern EV autos, following Elon Musk’s tech revolution, have the exact same uncomfortable design, which either upsets your stomach or shakes your food into perfect digestion, depending on what you ate.
While the auto itself hasn’t changed, the auto driver certainly has. Back in the early 2000s, if an elder at home needed an auto, I had to cycle to the nearest crossroads and get brutally rejected. Some auto drivers rejected you without making eye contact, ensuring they weren’t guilt-tripped into taking the ride. Some rejected you based on your location — ‘I live in Erragadda, I know, but it’s not hell.’ Some rejected you if they thought they wouldn’t get a return fare — ‘Who am I to guarantee that? An SIP?’
After facing this level of rejection early in life, I’m now immune to rejection in art, love, and life. Rejected from safar to being rejected by humsafar is a coming-of-age love story that I now tell audiences on stage.
Autos didn’t just shape our transport choices, they shaped our life decisions. ‘Sorry, I can’t stay longer, I won’t get an auto home’ was a valid reason to end a date. Brokers sold houses by saying, ‘Sir, this place is expensive, but there’s an auto stand nearby.’ And like a father blindly agreeing to an IT guy in an arranged marriage, we nodded along without question.
One of the biggest losses in this auto evolution is the art of conversation. Auto drivers were avid readers. You’d step in, and they’d summarise the entire newspaper for you, complete with sharp opinions. By the end of the ride, you were Rs 50 poorer but 10 IQ points richer. Now, they are paying more attention to reels than to wheels or talking to a friend in Marathi — until you listen carefully and realise it’s just Dothraki.
Yet, an auto follows Buddha’s middle path — literally, because they drive right in the middle of the road, and spiritually, because it’s just uncomfortable enough to keep you awake but not bad enough to make you jump out. And if you ever start overthinking life inside an auto, don’t worry — you’ll either reach your destination or spot a share auto packed with 120 people, instantly making you feel better.
Sandesh Johnny
@johnnykasandesh
(This comedian is here to tell funny stories about Hyderabad)
(The writer’s views are his own)