KOCHI: When it comes to using dating apps, Malayalees give a mixed response. Even as a lot of youngsters are trying out their luck online, many still find the old-fashioned wooing games to be the best bet. Kochi Express speaks to few who have ventured into the big wide world of dating with and without apps.
According to Hari A, the most common apps tried by youngsters are Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid and Hinge. “Well, I have tried out Tinder, Bumble and Hinge. I don’t think these apps are the same. They are super different. Tinder is the most popular. Bumble is basically for girls. Once two people match, only the girl can make the first move on Bumble. An idea that I quite like!” says Hari.
“Among Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, the last one is rarely used in India. Hinge is quite aesthetic and that is what is special about it,” said the 23-year-old. However, even though he has tried out the apps, Hari feels the old way of wooing is definitely better. “But with more and more people becoming introverts, these apps help them know each other before actually fixing up a meeting,” he said. According to him, Instagram is also another great place to meet people you share common interests with, sans the pressure of going on a date.
“It’s the whole build-up and then the low-key flirting before planning a date which makes romancing so dreamy. You don’t get that with dating apps,” he said.
The apps also turn conduits for someone who wants to get over a break-up, as Maya did. “I used Tinder thrice just after my breakup. And I know many who frequently use the app. But I don’t personally know of anyone who ended up in a relationship through Tinder,” she said. According to her, the experience was quite simple.
“The first two were the usual conversations. Then we met a couple of times for coffee and dinner. But the third one was pretty weird and the guy seemed too eager to initiate physical intimacy. After that, I lost interest and started spending time with friends,” she said. About the safety aspect, Maya said, “The encounters I had were pretty safe and nice.”
But in the case of Naina, Tinder played the cupid. “I started using the app just after it launched— 2017 maybe. My flatmate and I wanted to check out the interface and see what the big deal about Tinder was,” she said. Over time, some of the boys I’d swiped right on went on to become really good online friends, she added.
However, Naina got bored soon and deleted the app. “I returned later to see if anything was new. Finally, in late 2017, I swiped right on this guy whose profile I found interesting. We matched and began talking,” she said. But over time, Tinder chats graduated to WhatsApp and later to phone calls. “We got engaged in January 2019 and married in June,” said Naina.
Did you know?
Online dating apps may seem like a pretty new thing to us, but their origins dates back to mid-90s. In 1959, Jim Harvey and Phil Fialer started ‘Happy Families Planning Services’ as a class project at Stanford, matching 49 men and 49 women using a questionnaire and and an IBM 650.