‘We are like this only': Malayali youngsters who are treading the ‘bizarre’ path

TNIE reporter Mahima Anna Jacob meets some Malayali youngsters who are treading the ‘bizarre’ path.
Image for representational purpose only. ( Express Illustration)
Image for representational purpose only. ( Express Illustration)

KOCHI: Breaking out of entrenched stereotypes is not easy. Yet, there are some ‘rebels with a cause’ who smash societal norms and try to normalise the ‘unconventional’. TNIE reporter Mahima Anna Jacob meets some Malayali youngsters who are treading the ‘bizarre’ path.

Mayamma rocks!

Draped in six yards of elegance and swaying to groovy tunes, Alex Mathew is an absolute show-stealer. Mind you, when on stage, this 33-year-old six-footer transforms into ‘Maya’, the drag queen. Friends and fans fondly call him Mayamma (mother of illusion). Alex donned the persona of Maya for the first time in September 2014. A month after that, he came out as queer. Since then, this freelance PR professional has been smashing his way through toxic ideals of masculinity. A ‘drag queen’, he explains, decks up in versatile outfits and elaborate makeup, and entertains audiences through live singing, dancing and interaction.

Alex Mathew
Alex Mathew

Born in Thiruvananthapuram and brought up in Kochi, Alex says he grew up in an atmosphere filled with “patriarchal expectations” of society.“I was creative right from my childhood. However, when it comes to art, it’s hard to get proper guidance,” he says. “I remember taking part in a fancy dress competition while studying in Class XI. I performed Nagavalli and won the first prize. It was not about winning, I just wanted to perform.”Subsequently, he turned to theatre. He was discouraged; his thick accent and effeminate nature were considered ‘flaws’.“I never felt they were problems,” says Alex.

“I got to perform in theatres outside Kerala but realised something was missing. Then, I watched the film Mrs Doubtfire. That’s when I first thought of becoming a drag artist. Watching Robin Williams in that film, I gained confidence that I could do something exceptional.”Thus began Mayamma’s journey. Currently, he performs at public events in cities such as Bengaluru and Mumbai. “Yet to see that kind of acceptance in Kerala,” he notes. The state might have not encouraged Alex, but he takes along his roots and ‘Malayali culture’ with pride on stage. Alex often wears a Kerala sari and addresses members of the audience as ‘Kuttans’ and ‘Kuttis’.

Though Mayamma has been receiving applause from people from various walks of life, Alex feels society has a long way to go.“Drag is as an art form, period,” he says. “I use it to clear gender-related misconceptions. For instance, many people still assume I am a trans person. Some rush to the wrong conclusion that I am a sex worker.” Alex has, in fact, taken Maya to several educational institutions to conduct workshops on sex, gender, and the LGBTQ+ community.“Once a boy at a venue where I was performing was intrigued to see me in a sari,” says Alex. “He was curious and asked a lot of questions after the show. The next time I performed at that venue, I saw the same boy in a sari. He had gained the confidence to express himself.”

Breaking the code

Aadhi
Aadhi

“My body, my comfort.” That’s the style philosophy of Aadhi (uses only first name), a first-year B.Ed student at Government College of Teacher Education, Kozhikode. He recently faced flak for wearing half pants and a hoodie to college. Yes, he probably broke an unwritten ‘decorum’. Why? “It felt good,” he says. The 23-year-old is still perplexed at the non-inclusive nature of classrooms. “I still don’t understand why the half-pants or hoodie became an issue when there was no specified dress code on campus,” he says.“It reached a point where the higher education minister had to intervene. But, the mindset of the staff remains the same. The scorn is palpable.”Aadhi believes the fact that someone studying to qualify as a teacher is treading the ‘unconventional’ path irks many people. “I wear lipstick, earrings and, at times, I wear saris, too (for photo shoots),” he laughs.

“Wearing anything comfortable — without offending others — is a basic right. I’m a non-binary person, is there any specific ‘dress code’ out there made just for this category?”Aadhi adds it is unfortunate that dress codes have been set for each profession. “When it comes to teaching, style policing is stringent,” he says. “Teaching should be treated just like any other profession. When I wear what I like, people say I would end up as a bad role model for students. They believe unconventional is indecent. That’s wrong.” It is important for teachers to “update themselves” and “not remain ignorant”, he believes.“If not, you may pass insensitive or phobic comments that could scar some students for life,” adds Aadhi.

’Nothing to be ashamed’

Maria Kuruvilla, 29, was bullied at school for carrying something that she was born with, but in excess -- body hair. She grew up haunted by body shaming. She started waxing at the age of 11. It gave her brief reprieves from the taunts throughout her teenage years. Then, at the age of 19, a deep question struck her: is it appearance or what one exudes as a person that matters?“I realised there was nothing to be ashamed of body hair. It is purely organic,” says Maria, a media professional.

Maria Kuruvilla
Maria Kuruvilla

“It’s not that I never wax. The difference is that, now, I do it when I feel like it, not for ‘others’. That compulsion to please others has gone.”Maria adds there have been times when months passed without any removal or grooming of body and facial hair. To “challenge societal norms” and “assert self-acceptance”, Maria has tonsured a couple of times, too. “It is absurd that a woman’s body hair is ‘ugly’, while the hair on her head is considered a sign of feminine beauty. That got me thinking,” she says. Being a priest’s daughter adds to social castigation, says Maria. “Fortunately, my parents are pretty liberal. They, in fact, taught me to be myself -- with dignity. Hence, criticism and ridicule from society don’t bog me down,” she adds.

Political style statement

Vishnu Sujatha Mohan, 23, lives quite a colourful life, literally. Wearing the finest jewellery, painting nails, and styling his long hair, this Malayalam M.Phil student at the Sree Sankaracharya University in Kalady has been breaking gender norms in style.“I always wanted to grow my hair. But there were restrictions at home,” he says. “I took things slow, and eventually let it grow. I started painting my nails, wearing Mehendi, and going for body piercing. As time passed, they have become normalised to my ways.”Vishnu, a cis male homosexual, says he decided to break societal shackles during the second year of graduation. “I dress up not just because of passion. It’s a political statement, too,” he says. “Unfortunately, the society we live in has tasks and interests assigned for all categories. My acts oppose the system.”

‘I love my moustache’

Shyja
Shyja

Kannur-native Shyja (uses only first name) is on cloud nine, as her moustache has got global attention. “I love flaunting it,” she says.Shyja, 35, was in Class X when she first noticed the wisp of facial hair above her upper lip. “I remember, even back then, I did not find it odd or disgraceful,” she says.“The thought of getting rid of it never crossed my mind. I decided to leave it there. This (moustache) has been a part of me.” Shyja, however, says she was not as “confident” as she is now in her younger days. “After marriage, I started freeing up, living life on my own terms. I lived in Tirupur for some years with my husband. There, I discovered a new kind of freedom.”

Shyja believes her moustache makes her uniquely beautiful. “This is my identity. I just know that I’m truly in love with this feature of mine.” Twirling her moustache, Shyja says she receives love as well as hate from society and social media. “There are some who still mock me, I just laugh and keep away from such negativity,” she says. “My daughter and husband like to see me with a moustache. My daughter, especially, can’t even imagine me without it!”

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