The four aces

Falling in love is often easy enough to explain - there is that sense of intense attraction that just is all about the feels.
Image used for representational purposes only
Image used for representational purposes only
Updated on
2 min read

KOCHI: What do you think makes the difference between people who fell in love and out of it and those remained in love despite what life threw at them?

Falling in love is often easy enough to explain - there is that sense of intense attraction that just is all about the feels. It is a force unto itself, often overriding more mundane things like practicality, good reason, logic or anything else that is objective.

It is the stuff of romance in a million epics where people just find each other irresistibly attractive and put themselves through all sorts of trouble just to be close to each other, climbing up terraces on fragile vines, or sneaking into well-protected palaces.

Attraction is the first big Ace in the deck. Often, nothing else is needed other than a maddening attraction to fall in love. Attraction creates its own momentum as it were. Things happen as if by magic, the universe itself seems to conspire to bring those attracted to each other together come hail or high water. With just this one Ace in the cards we have, we could fall in love, but staying in love isn’t easy with nothing else in our hands.

Mahesh Natarajan
Mahesh Natarajan

If Attraction is the Ace of Hearts, then Affection is the Ace of Spades.

It is the everyday currency of love, which brings strength and stability. We need to have plenty of it and experience it every day, but then, to even know when and how much to demonstrate affection, we need to be able to see each other, and that’s the other big Ace - Attention. Think of Attention as the Ace of Diamonds, as it were. It is the insight and practical intelligence of when and on what to focus on with our partner.

It is the fourth Ace that makes the difference: Accommodation.

As we grow, we are going to constantly change. Our work changes us, our needs become different. Our love needs to be able to accommodate change. We don’t want our partners to become anything other than what we fell in love with, and that is often the deal breaker.

To be truly successful in love, we need all four Aces.

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