I have completed Class X and am waiting for results. I have braces on my teeth. So I think I’m suffering from a severe inferiority complex. It is very hard and painful for me to speak with others, especially girls. This is very inconvenient for me. I have lost many wonderful opportunities because of this irritating inferiority complex. The dentist is not saying the exact duration of the dental treatment. I request you to guide me to get over this feeling.
I wish you success for your Class X results. There are better ways to wait for a result than putting yourself down in this gestation period. Usually I have seen people stating “I am suffering from fever” this is very new for me to see you mentioning “I am suffering from inferiority complex.” What I want you to be aware is, feeling of inferiority is not a disorder or an illness, it is self-created. So what you can state is “I choose to feel inferior”. In this way you will take responsibility for your action. The way out from your feeling inferior is by counting your blessing. Every day count five blessings and your inferiority will vanish away.
Your sentence “I lost many wonderful opportunities because of this irritating inferiority” seems as though you are not in charge of your life. Always remember opportunities can be created and you have the power to do so. Your words “irritating inferiority” shows you are turning anger against yourself. Instead ask yourself this question, “How did I cope in similar tough situations in life?” Since you are now around 15 years old, you will have some experience where you managed well and use the same way to overcome tough situations. In talking to girls, you seem to focus on getting approval from girls and this can add pressure. First direct your energy on keeping yourself happy, nourish yourself with healthy food, dress appropriately, and exercise, and this happiness will radiate around you and as “bees get attracted to a flower”, you will attract friends who will share their joy with you. I will reframe your context and you may choose to accept it or not.
Imagine your ‘braces’ as an ornament around your teeth and this picture will give a different perspective and help you to go through your dental treatment with grace. I understand that you feel pain when talking with the braces then check with your dentist regarding the pain. Spread your attention to various other aspects and other roles like son, student, etc, in your life and you will be surprised to know that you engage with your life in a broader way. Most importantly, remember that once the braces are removed, you are going to look different then. That in itself is something to look forward to. All the best!
A Geethan is a Chennai-based psychotherapist and organisational consultant. He is the founder-director of Nibbana (Visit www.ncpc-india.com). You can send in your queries to queries.edex@newindianexpress.com.