What drives you, defines you

These were the pick of the queries received via WhatsApp and answered by life coach Adarsh Basavaraj. Keep them coming!

Published: 08th August 2016 06:00 AM  |   Last Updated: 07th August 2016 11:25 AM   |  A+A-

How can I identify my passion? True calling

Dear Readers,

If you've been following my column, you would have read about the emphasis I lay on following your PASSION. I'm sure that it might be frustrating for some of you when I say so, as you'd love to, if only you had the slightest clue what it was!

What is passion?

How do you understand what your passion is? Is it something that you're interested in? Or does it have something more to it?

Let's find out, as I've decided to have this topic for our conversation this week.

Passion, ironically is derived from a Greek verb that means TO SUFFER. As funny as it sounds, you won't be laughing when I tell you this — if you don't follow your passion, it definitely leads to suffering.

From a psychological viewpoint, passion is a EMOTION. It's a STRONG feeling of UNUSUAL enthusiasm or excitement. UNUSUAL because you are on your toes to do something you're PASSIONATE about.

How would I define it? #Coach'sExplanation

Passion is the feeling that FIRES UP your mind, body and soul to such an extent that you never run out of energy, enthusiasm or motivation, no matter how many times you do what you're passionate about!

Why is PASSION important in life?

Passion is one aspect that has so many characteristics that it defines our LIFE itself. It might be JUST AN EMOTION. As we dive deeper we realise that passion defines: WHO WE ARE; WHAT WE WANT TO BE; THE DIRECTION THAT WE NEED TO TAKE IN LIFE; whether we'll be HAPPY and finally, the factor that decides if we're doing something for the heck of it, or utilising our complete potential.

Many a times I've been asked, "Isn't passion and interest the same?" I find it apt to tell you here that, it's SIMILAR but definitely not the SAME. Passion is your interest multiplied by a minimum of 100 and which is on your mind 24x7!

If you're interested in cricket, you become a FAN. If you're passionate about it, you become SACHIN TENDULKAR.

How do I find out my passion?

So we're down to the million dollar question! Like always let me start off simple by giving you my own #Coach'sFormulas

The simplest way to identify passion is by observing what makes you feel like you're doing it for the FIRST TIME EVERYTIME you do it, that is, you don't feel monotonous, you'll have the same drive, energy, enthusiasm and motivation you had when you did it for the first time.

The next simplest way would be to sit and introspect with a calm mind, analyse what has always kept you CURIOUS and pushed you to question almost everything about it. Something that's pushed you over the limits to quench your THIRST for it's KNOWLEDGE about it.

Finally, your passion is THAT which enables you to keep the faith or belief even if the whole world says the contrary to what you believe in. If you're able to figure out the THAT, well... Congratulations! You've just figured out your passion.

#Coach'sTip

Your passion is something that gives you so much happiness that you don't even think of how much you're earning through it, but you just want to keep doing it.

I could never stand to see a person unhappy and had made up my mind to dedicate my life to spread happiness to all around me. Which is why I'm here with you all as I've discovered that THIS IS MY PASSION!

My Final Word

I've given you simple tricks which will take you a long way when it comes to discovering your passion. In a majority of cases what we have LOVED doing since our childhood tends to develop as our PASSION. Let's put in the maximum efforts to make our PASSION into our PROFESSION! Let's be 100 per cent efficient and effective to utilise our potential. Let's find OUR CALLING. If we do, trust me, this world will be a better place!

With Regards,

Adarsh Basavaraj

The Coach

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I'm depressed and frustrated. I fight with my mother and have failed as a son and brother. I have dreams which don't materialise. I fail to work hard and execute plans. I lack the focus and seem to focus on petty things- Knocked out

It's ok, nobody becomes successful in a day and that's how life is. You'll go through TRIALS and ERRORS, and LEARN from them. That's how you will find your CALLING and then you'll have to pursue it. Simple.

You're frustrated because you're setting high expectations for yourself. Go step by step. Also you are fighting with your mother because she's worried about your laziness, which in turn is making you unproductive. Parents tend to get anxious, you know.

Finally, since you've answered your own question, you're lazy and are postponing things because you're not feeling the heat or pressure. Be responsible, pull up your socks and FOCUS. Start with one small step in the field of your choice that really fires you up and fills you with energy. You'll soon realise that you're rocking it!

If you have time for petty things in life, it shows that your attitude towards life is laidback. You need to PRIORITISE. Ask yourself 'What is the outcome of what I'm about to do? Will it help me achieve my goals?' Also, stop fighting with your mom! Don't trouble her, she's gone through a lot just to give birth to you, forget bringing you up, taking care of you and putting up with your tantrums!

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I get depressed a lot and can't bear even a small problem. All I do every night is cry. I don't know how to face problems boldly and have no self confidence. Please help -Hurt Locker

Hey, I completely understand what you're going through. It's OK to let out your feelings once in a while. But if you're crying every night, then you're suppressing too many issues which need to be sorted out. Regarding facing problems boldly, with courage — stop being lazy. Go through my column on July 25, 2016, where I've written about fear and how to deal with it.

You're definitely a person who's highly sensitive. Even before I advice you, remember that you have done nothing to lose confidence. In fact you should be happy as you were the FASTEST out of MILLION OF SPERMS who wanted to win the RACE! That makes you a BORN WINNER! Always tell yourself that and feel confident.

My first advice to you is to figure out what exactly is bothering you or affecting you in such a way that it's making you lose confidence. Is it looks? Is it fitness? Is it not having enough money? Or something else?

Next, sit and set an action plan to address these issues. It might be going in for a makeover, joining an aerobics class or joining a part time job, etc.

Ensure that you surround yourself with people who love you, first being parents and family and then your closest friends who support and respect you. This will boost your self confidence automatically by making you aware of how many people LOVE YOU.

Finally, avoid telling yourself negative things about yourself like 'I can't do this, I can't do that', etc. Always be positive and try it out. For all you know you might realise that you're good at some things that you haven't even attempted to do.

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I am a guy who feels lonely, depressed and I wonder why. I'm also emotional and I am yet to set a goal. What should I do? Aimless

Let me be honest, you've created a vicious circle around YOURSELF, no one but YOU is responsible for this phase. It's all in your hands. Expecting a miracle to happen will not get you anywhere.

Since you're emotional, you would have gone through unpleasant experiences when it comes to friendship, like backstabbing. This is making it hard for you to TRUST hence, you don't know whom to hang around with, as you're not able to figure out GOOD from BAD. So it's natural for you to feel lonely. All negative thoughts tend to occur because you're sitting idle and AN IDLE MIND IS A DEVIL'S WORKSHOP!

Firstly, DON'T EXPECT too much from friends. Respect everyone. If people don't respect you but only EXPECT from you, stay away from them. They're not your true friends. Find people who like you and respect you, hang around with them. You'll GEL well.

Next, focus on your interests. FOCUS is the keyword here. Keep yourself occupied doing what you like or whatever makes you happy. Join a class, take a course, start swimming, whatever suits you!

Finally set a goal, a short term one to start with. Be specific, ensure that you can track it's progress and how serious you've been about it. If you have not made the expected progress, then it's time to put in more efforts. Once you achieve this goal, set another short term one. Once you're able to achieve these short term goals and are consistent, you can start chalking out your long term goals.

I am doing BSc Zoology at a leading college. Whenever I tell someone this they ask, "Why are you doing such a hopeless course? Were your marks so low that you took this?" This makes me feel depressed. Why is our society branding a course and putting down passion?  So annoyed

Hey buddy! Firstly, I don't want you to listen to what people tell you or think. It doesn't matter. They will not come and feed you tomorrow. You have to become successful in the field that you love and contribute to the greater good of our planet.

Different people have different perceptions, some feel that only doctors and engineers are worthy, some might still be living in the stone age. It really doesn't matter if you are happy doing what you love.

People bother about others passion because they might either be too jobless, or jealous that you've taken up something impossible. Whatever it is, they will only tell you what they feel, allowing this to damage you and your focus levels will only prove them RIGHT! Anything and everything that you do passionately will always be a success. Trust me, I'm a living example. Initially, people would say that I was doing some BLACK MAGIC even without knowing what hypnotherapy is and the same people brought their own children to me for therapy.

My advice to you is IGNORANCE IS BLISS. Ignore all the people who put you down. In fact, take it up as a challenge and PROVE THEM WRONG by becoming highly SUCCESSFUL. Follow your passion. Show people that you rocked at something which they considered as HOPELESS. I'm sure you'll do it!

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