Pride Month 2021: Desi DJ Ma Faiza speaks of non-judgemental love

Not many people know this, but as a 17-year-old, just discovering her identity and sexual orientation the need for acceptance and love almost killed her.
Desi DJ Ma Faiza (Photo| Indulge)
Desi DJ Ma Faiza (Photo| Indulge)

Ma Faiza is a phenomenal woman. To the world, to her fans, to anyone who has found themselves in a dance frenzy to her music she's a legend. Mother of electronica, vision of strength, queer and proud, a straight-up 'Queen'.

In the spirit of Pride Month 2021, we reached out to go all the way back to 1987 to her coming out story. Not many people know this, but as a 17-year-old, just discovering her identity and sexual orientation the need for acceptance and love almost killed her. For members of the LGBTQIA+ community, so many battles are fought, and countless ones privately, within, seeking, wishing, yearning for acceptance and love.

Thirty four years later, Ma Faiza, speaks of a non-judgemental love that has carried her through all of the difficult, tumultuous tides of life. "My music speaks the language of inclusivity and transcends any gender," she says.

And at 51, she is all set to start a new chapter: marriage. After years of believing a wedding wasn't ever on the cards, she has met 'the one'.

Excerpts:

You were 17 when you first identified as a lesbian, while in England. Can you take us back to your coming out story?

I always knew when I was a child that I was different. I didn't understand until my late teens that I was queer, and as soon as I was sure of my sexual identity, I came out to my shocked parents, as I have always wanted to lead my life openly, without any hiding or shame.

They didn't take it very well, and at that time in 1987 in the UK there were very few queer icons or visibility of the queer spectrum. I felt very disconnected from my family and in that time I suffered extreme mental distress and anxiety.

Learning you feel different from what society has considered acceptable, morally and legally, can leave a person feeling very isolated and alone.

As humans, we all have a need to be accepted by our families and our peers. The first battle is with yourself, the second battle is your family and the last battle which can take a lifetime, is society at large. I ended up trying to take my own life and while in hospital on what seemed like my 'death bed', I had the chance to give my 'death speech'.

I asked my parents to accept me, as with your parent's acceptance and love it still allows us to pass through the ordeal of coming out to our society at large with strength and dignity.

I expressed to them that I continually felt like a failure and told them I was still their beautiful child, with all the values they had instilled in me just that my sexual orientation was different to what they had expected, and if they couldn't truly love me and accept me, then to let me die.

In this moment my parents realised that they didn't want to lose their daughter, and that they would support me from that day to be myself in all my queerness. It took decades for our relationship to slowly change to where it is now.

I still feel lucky, as unfortunately, many of us still battle with being judged for our sexual identity or gender label by the people that profess to love us.

What are your thoughts on representation of the LGBTQIA+ community in the DJ circuit in India?

I remember being interviewed for a newspaper article about me DJing six years ago and when I shared my sexual identity, I was told that the public didn't need to know that and it was not something that was discussed in the media.

We have come a long way since then, with at least a more open and mature dialogue for people to express who they are with more freedom and safety. We are more visible than ever and it feels like more acceptance is in the air.

Currently, the queer community is still severely underrepresented in the DJ circuit with only a handful of out-andproud queer DJs. I am positive that more artistes will emerge from our queer community to challenge people's perceptions and we will have many more queer icons to inspire others to be themselves in all their queerness and rainbows and pride.

You have talked about wanting to get married. What does marriage mean to you?

I actually never thought I would get married, as I spent most of my adult life being in polyamorous relationships. It's only since meeting my fiancé Anuradha, that I realised I have met 'the ONE'. Actually Anuradha proposed to me and I accepted!

We wish to marry and have a family and currently that's just not possible legally in India. We are planning to get married in the UK, and we are hoping the laws in India change to give us and the queer community at large the same equal rights as heterosexual relationships. Love is Love!

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The New Indian Express
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