When we hear cliched expressions of romance like, “I don’t care where we go. As long as we are together, we are happy,” it’s natural to roll eyes in response.
What if those lines get uttered by an octogenarian to the love of her life? To further change things up, how about if both belonged to the same gender? A lack of understanding from society lasting decades, masquerading as hate and fear, caused two women — Pat Henschel and Terry Donahue — to lie to the world about their relationship. The coming-out tale of these two octogenarians is what Netflix’s latest documentary, A Secret Love, is about.
Directed by Terry’s great-nephew Chris Bolan, this one-hour documentary encompasses the journey of these two women. While the past is showcased with vintage videos and black-and-white photographs, the present features their own voices as well as that of Terry’s extended family members. A Secret Love documents the issues the lovers confronted during their younger days and how age itself has become a point of concern in their current lives.
Before delving into struggles of their past, we are introduced to Terry’s family that learns about the true nature of the duo’s relationship just a few years ago. They weren’t ‘friends’ as the family believed or ‘cousins’, as the rest of the world did.
I was pleasantly surprised by the women sharing a devil-may-care attitude when talking about how they came out of the closet. The film then reveals a bit of these ladies’ past, and suddenly, the reasons for their seeming daredevilry become evident.
Terry, as we later learn, was one of the pioneers of Canadian women’s baseball, considered a man’s sport back in the day. “I broke all the rules all my life and that’s why I am happy,” says Terry, who talks of how men flocked to the stadiums to watch women playing in skirts.
However, after watching women battling against each other and playing with bruises, the same spectators returned—but this time, for the sport. Pat interjects to explain how their love story was something straight out of a musical. “Our first kiss was in the middle of a street during a sandstorm, so nobody could see us,” says Pat, who also shares a laugh about how they never cared about checking into hotels with no luggage.
If all seems merry and gay, we realise it’s not. Newspaper clippings show us that two out of three Americans viewed homosexuality with disgust, discomfort or fear. Pat and Terry, along with a pair of gay men who they have been friends with for decades, talk about their memories of gay bars getting raided.
Despite such ordeals, or maybe because of them, they narrate these stories with a straight face. Even something as simple as a love letter had to be stored with the bottom half ripped off, just so the sender’s name isn’t clear to anyone who chances upon it. Diana, one of Terry’s nieces, reveals how how her father used to say that Terry needed to be f***ed by a big, black guy to set her straight. Terry herself adds that had her mother been alive to see her coming out, she would have disowned her.
But it is not all gloomy and dramatic, with A Secret Love having some lighter moments too. Take, for instance, Pat sharing her story of how she was into three men at different stages of her life and how all of them dying one after the other, was enough of a message that men just wouldn’t make the cut.
The sweet banter among the two are some of the best parts of A Secret Love. Even when their health deteriorates over the years (the docu covers more than half a decade of their lives), or when family dynamics go for a toss, their attitude stays the same.
Their love too has seemingly stood the test of time. Scenes like Terry asking Pat if she’s got a headache after a heated argument, and Pat, with a broken voice, saying, ‘She means everything to me’, are sure to pull at your heartstrings. After all these years, Terry and Pat don’t ‘live a lie anymore’. If I had to summarise this film with a song, I’d chose Doris Day’s Secret Love: Now I shout it from the highest hills; Even told the golden daffodils; At last, my heart’s an open door; And my secret love is no secret anymore.
Director: Chris Bolan Cast: Pat Henschel, Terry Donahuen Streaming on: Netflix |