He’s not flexing; he’s fetching—the Golden Retriever Boyfriend is loyal, goofy, reliable, and affectionate. According to Tinder’s 2024 Dating Trends Survey, 44 per cent of singles are seeking someone who embodies this golden retriever energy: the human equivalent of a big, lovable pup. He’s laid-back, attentive, and emotionally generous, showing up with presence instead of pretense.
Dr Tammy Nelson, a sex and relationship therapist, sees this as part of a broader shift. “This softer, more emotionally present version of masculinity could signal a promising evolution in what we value in men—both gay and straight. It shows we’re beginning to look beyond the traditional markers of strength, status, or sexual prowess. We’re craving tenderness, presence, and emotional fluency.
In a dating landscape littered with ghosters and slow-faders, the appeal is clear: he’s not playing games—he’s just texting back. Relationship expert and author Shahzeen Shivdasani says, “It feels like a cultural correction to the ‘bad boy’ era. Now, people—especially women—are seeking safety, laughter, and loyalty. ”
The Golden Retriever Boyfriend, then, is the anti-toxic partner. He’s not negging you. He’s not vanishing after three dates. He shows up. Enthusiastically. But could the very appeal of this archetype mask something regressive? A softboy reboot of traditional gender norms— this time, cloaked in cuddliness? “Not at all,” Shivdasani says. “These are just universally appealing traits— warmth, optimism, ease. The same way men might be drawn to confidence or humour. It’s not about reinforcing old roles—it’s about emotional resonance.”
However, there are valid questions beneath the golden glow. Can someone be too good, too available? Does that generosity eventually curdle into resentment? “It may seem ideal at first but to imbalance is a risk. If one partner is constantly nurturing the emotional connection, they may begin to feel depleted or unappreciated. A healthy relationship requires reciprocity—mutual care, not quiet martyrdom,” adds Dr Nelson.
The GRBF may also be appealing to those with anxious attachment styles. “It offers predictability,” Shivdasani explains. But she adds a crucial caveat: “If you’re choosing someone just to avoid emotional discomfort, you’re not healing—you’re deflecting. Emotional safety has to start with you.” Still, it’s easy to understand the allure: the Golden Retriever Boyfriend is affectionate without power games, emotionally secure, and unthreatened by softness. He makes consistency feel sexy. “But let’s not romanticise it too far,” Shivdasani says. “Even with a golden retriever boyfriend, you’re going to argue. That’s part of real love. It’s not about conflict avoidance—it’s about how you navigate it together, how you choose each other, again and again. That’s what maturity looks like.”
So what’s next for our golden-hearted paramours? Dr Nelson hopes the label will evolve into a broader recognition of healthy masculinity—men who are confident, emotionally intelligent, and secure in their softness.