Cycle of abuse
BENGALURU: That fateful evening, ominous clouds had gathered overhead and the darkness seemed to have descended suddenly. Madhav continued to drive in silence and the unbearable stillness made Sheila nervous.
She was afraid to ask him and waited patiently. Soon, it started raining and the traffic started thinning on the streets of Hayward. A few minutes later, he parked the car in an empty parking lot. Sheila did not understand; she looked at him apprehensively.
Madhav turned to her. "Listen, carefully, this is very important," he demanded her attention. "For reasons you may not understand, you have ruined my life. I tried to treat you like a princess but you were not happy. But now I hate you and despise that little boy. I give you two options now. One, we go back home and I will strangle the little brat. You will cry and I will call the police and I will tell them you strangled the baby and I could not save the baby. I was in my room and it was too late by the time I could reach the baby. You lose the baby and you go to prison," he took a deep breath.
"The second option: You just get out of the car and walk out never to return. Do not attract any police patrol car and try to get back home. If you do return, then I will still go with the first option. You just walk away never to return and hope your son remains alive. One day you may be able to see him again." His voice was devoid of any human feelings.
Sheila was initially confused but slowly the import of what he said dawned on her. She could not believe that any father or any husband, however bad, could stoop to such atrociously inhuman levels, but she had now understood Madhav.
He was cold blooded and once he decided something, he would go through with it and at the same time he would manipulate the situation to his advantage. She knew her baby was in danger and there was no one who could advise Madhav that what he was doing was wrong. Only Narayan had the ability and conviction to do it, but she didn’t know where he was or how to reach him.
She continued to plead, "Madhav, please allow me to take our baby with me. Anyway, you cannot take care of the baby on your own. The baby will suffer. Just allow me please. I will go away with the baby and will never disturb you again.” He was laughing, “That is the whole idea. You should not have that blue-eyed b****** and you should suffer."
He was so cruel. Now the rain was pouring and suddenly, there was a powerful streak of lightning followed moments later by deafening thunder. An electricity transformer must have exploded nearby. Sheila sat up with fright and looked at Madhav.
He looked a total stranger. She thought of her own plight. She had no identity and no home, no passport or money, and no one to turn to. Absolutely nothing! She made up her mind. She opened the door of the car and in that pouring rain walked away without looking back at him.
Sheila kept walking like a woman possessed. It was an unfamiliar part of the city, an alien land in more ways than one. The street lights were off. Rain continued to pour down heavily and at the same time the wind was blowing across fiercely.
All the trees on the sidewalk were swinging and swaying dangerously. She didn't notice anything on the street as the storm of memories and grief inside her blotted out everything else! Her mind, disoriented with pain, spun back over the years.
(Excerpted from ‘Suspended Lives’, published by Star Publications, with permission of N Parthasarathi)
Backstory
Suspended Lives is inspired by real-life incidents that I had the opportunity to observe while serving as the Consul General of India in San Francisco. It is shocking to realise that domestic violence and emotional abuse are increasingly being used by many as effective weapons to control the lives of others in the family.
It is sad to see that many spouses, who are well educated, had a promising career, arrive on the shores of a foreign land, brimming with self-confidence and can-do spirit. But soon some of them get into a cycle of domestic abuse and lose their self-esteem. Unfortunately, these vulnerable people, apart from enduring traumatic experiences are also forced to remain dependent on spouses who are the perpetrators of such heinous abuse.
Three aspects are highlighted: First is the phenomenon of wives and partners going to the USA on a H1B or H4 visa, which leaves them completely dependent on the partner, often unable to escape the trap.
Secondly, there is an undercurrent of manipulation by people who, motivated by their own fractured sensibilities/narcissistic tendencies, inflict physical and psychological abuse on those who trust and depend on them. At the third level is the more widespread problem of domestic abuse, its ramifications affecting both women and men.