On a beautiful sunny morning, while walking to work, you meet someone, who asked you for a small loan, months ago, but haven’t paid back yet. He smiles at you, says a nice “good morning”, and keeps walking.
How would you react in this situation?
You might think: “What is he thinking? Does he think that I have amnesia?”
“He might at least show some respect, and say that he is doing his best to pay me back the loan.”
The encounter with him might ruin your day. You’ll probably keep thinking all day long about the friend and the loan you gave him, while feeling angry and resentful.
Every day, we go through many similar incidents. Some of them are easy to deal with, some are a bit unpleasant, and some are annoying, disturbing and sometimes, unbearable.
You need to make a choice and stand by it, to accept to be unhappy or to choose to feel happy.
You can choose to dwell on an unhappy event all day long. You may also choose to refuse to think about it, and focus on other events that make you feel happy and bring a smile to your face.
You might have experienced unpleasantness. You might have suffered from some humiliation, disrespect or anger, but you do not have to let them influence your reactions and feelings.
You might not be able to change people’s behaviour, but you can control your reactions, response, and whether to let their behaviour and their actions affect you.
If you let external events influence your moods, you will be at the mercy of these forces and influences. You will lose your inner poise and your happiness. You will allow your happiness to be determined by other people and by external influences.
Choose to be happy, and strive, no matter how difficult it might be, to reject, ignore and refuse to associate with unhappy thoughts and feelings.
This would require some effort on your part. Sometimes, you might fall back into the habit of dwelling on unhappiness, but gradually, you will learn to be happy and content.
Choose to free yourself from outer influences. Prefer happiness to unhappiness. It is your attitude that makes you feel happy or unhappy.
What is happiness?
It is a feeling of exhilaration, satisfaction and lack of worries and anxieties.
You usually experience happiness when everything is okay, when plans proceed as expected, and when you are loved or respected.
You experience happiness when you get what you want, when doing something you love doing, when a goal is achieved, or while being in a beautiful place, such as at the beach, when the sun is setting.
If you could look inside you, when you are happy, you will discover that at these moments there are no worries, fears or obsessing thoughts. This means that happiness and inner peace are interconnected.
Happiness, often, seems to be the result of positive events, but actually, it comes from the inside, triggered by external events. It usually seems to be fleeting and temporary, but when you learn to choose, and to allow happiness into your life, it gradually becomes more permanent.
10 Tips to Help You Choose to Be Happy
1. Find the good and positive in every situation.
This is not difficult. In every situation there must be something good, happy or amusing. Why not focus on it?
Your mind might drag you down, to think about negativity and difficulties, because that’s how it is accustomed to think. Don’t let it.
Endeavour to change the way you look at things, focusing more on the bright side of life.
2. Focus on solutions.
It is very easy to find problems and difficulties everywhere, because it requires nothing, but a negative attitude. Instead of focusing on the problems, focus on solutions.
3. Watch your thoughts.
Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, change them to pleasant thoughts. Do this time and again.
4. Watch funny movies.
Prefer to watch funny comedies that make you laugh, rather than thrillers and violent movies, especially before bed time.
5. Reading.
Each day, find the time to read a few pages from an inspiring book or article.
6. Look at what you have already accomplished and focus on it.
Often, we start the day with the intention of completing several goals or tasks, but we are unable to complete them.
At the end of the day you might feel frustrated and unhappy, because you haven’t been able to do all of those things.
It would be wise to be more reasonable and use common sense, instead of deciding without thinking. When you set more reasonable goals and tasks, you have less chance of being disappointed and unhappy.
Don’t let frustration, and the inability to carry out everything you set out to do to ruin your happiness. Focus on what you have already accomplished. This will awaken satisfaction, and sense of happiness.
7. Each day do something good for yourself.
It can be something small, such as buying a book, baking a cake, going to the theatre, visiting friends, or inviting friends to your house.
8. Seek the company of happy people.
Happiness is contagious. If you are in the company of happy people, there is a great chance that you will be infected by their happiness, provided you don’t focus on unhappiness while in their company.
9. Don’t take anything too personally.
Do your best to stay a little detached when things do not progress as you want them to progress.
Don’t allow negative remarks or behaviour affect your mind and feelings. You might not succeed the first, second or third time, but if you are persistent, you will eventually succeed.
Detachment will help you stay calm and control your moods and reactions.
10. Listen to relaxing, uplifting music.
It is said that music is the language of the soul. Listen often, to relaxing music, or any kind of music that uplifts your spirit.