We all know someone who has a short-fuse. That one person who goes from 0 to 100 in a flash and screams, abuses, plots retaliation, slams a door or hurls objects to vent anger. Sometimes we find ourselves in their shoes.
Why does one get angry? The answer lies in the understanding that we are inherently different people. Our nature, qualities, habits, perspectives, priorities and principles... all are different. Given that we spend a lot of time interacting with others, our various layers of strengths and weaknesses come to the fore. Living or working near people often gives rise to differences, disagreements or personality clashes. Right then, we start using the biggest counter-productive emotions —rage.
Paradoxically, we seek peace and happiness in life, but use anger to achieve it. Negative energy created through anger can never add up to positive emotions. When people or situations are not our way, we get angry. But regardless of our circumstances, anger is our choice, our creation. Nothing and no-one else can make us angry. Anger is a result of our wrong thinking in response to people’s behaviour or situations. Yet, believing anger to be natural and necessary, we wield it to feel powerful or to get work done. Although deep down, we all know it is harmful.
Anger creates turbulent energy in the mind, moving it from its natural state of ease. Uncomfortable emotions like anxiety, stress, pain, confusion and hatred are triggered. Judgment becomes clouded, intuition becomes impaired and we react impulsively. Our thoughts, words and behaviour go out of control. Our choices and decisions often go all wrong.
Anger does not let us separate the person from their actions. It attacks the individual. Those who were at fault might already be reeling under guilt. Our anger adds pain to their pain, depleting them further. They will not have the power to reform, and that’s why they may try to defend their actions.
People eventually become immune to our anger and stop ‘receiving’ it. But as creators, we cannot escape its effect on our mind, body, relationships and environment. Our every thought affects every cell of our body. Consequences of anger on physical health can range from shivering, dryness of the mouth, stress, headache, insomnia, high blood pressure, cardiac arrest and even paralysis. It can also result in substance abuse, depression and violence.
Every place has a vibrational frequency based on the energy of the people there. Anger is a low-frequency vibration. So, when it radiates from us, the energy around us feels uncomfortable.
Having understood the futility and implications of anger, let’s be determined to convert our homes and workplaces into no-anger zones. It is easier than we think. We need to make it a personal law, just as smokers comply with laws laid out at no-smoking zones. The intention should be to give up anger completely, and not just to reduce its frequency or intensity.
We often use anger but we also use peace, patience, love and compassion during the day. Depending on people or situation, we choose which emotion to use. We don’t use anger with people holding a certain role, relationship or position. We give ourselves the liberty to be angry at others. Good news is, if we can choose patience with one person, we can choose to use it with everyone. Choosing peace is one decision away, just as choosing anger is.
Follow these steps to attain peace and calm
Every morning, meditate and study pure, powerful content. This empowers your mind to create thoughts of peace in every situation.
Identify two family members and two colleagues with whom you often lose temper. The moment you feel an urge to snap at them, pause. Don’t allow anger to come into words or behaviour. Restrict it at the level of thoughts. Once you finish it externally, your mind becomes equipped to finish it internally.
Remind yourself lovingly—‘I am a powerful being, living in a no-anger zone. I understand they have a reason for what they did. I use patience and acceptance. It is my protection and empowerment.’ Gradually, anger finishes.
Return to the scene and give instructions with acceptance.
Move more and more people into the no-anger zone every week.
I am a peaceful being… always relaxed… I understand that situations and people cannot always be my way. My peace allows people to be calm, bringing out the best in them. People can make mistakes… I remain stable… I remain my peaceful self… I instruct with an intention of transformation… not criticism. I discipline assertively… I radiate respect and dignity. I am unaffected by situations…I influence them with my stability. I have a beautiful relationship with my mind... I pause for a few seconds after every hour to check how my mind is feeling... I counsel it and release any disturbing emotion. I am a peaceful being.