Secret to managing anger revealed through simple trick
Children, one of the key reasons for the breakup of relationships is reckless anger. We often get angry over trivial matters. If we exercise a little self-control, we can avoid many problems caused by anger.
Sometimes, because of a misunderstanding, we lose our temper even with innocent people. No matter how many times we beg their forgiveness after realising our mistake, their wounded hearts will never forgive us completely.
Therefore, we must learn to control our temper. If something makes us angry, we must exercise patience instead of reacting impulsively. Gradually, we will be able to conquer the habit of losing our temper.
A woman told her friend, “Every day, when my husband comes home from work, we start fighting. Is there any way to avoid this?”
The friend said, “Don’t worry. I have just the right medicine with me. As soon as your husband starts speaking angrily, take a mouthful of this medicine. Don’t swallow it. Just keep it inside your mouth.” Saying so, the friend gave her the bottle of medicine.
That evening, as soon as her husband became angry, the woman poured the medicine into her mouth. After some time, the husband cooled down. The same thing happened for the next two days also.
The wife was amazed. The next day, she told her friend, “Your medicine is really effective! We haven’t fought for three days. Please tell me how to prepare this medicine so that I can make it myself.”
Her friend said, “I’ll tell you, but let’s wait for another six months.”
Six months passed. There were no more fights in the house, which was now filled with love and peace. One day, the friend said, “I shall now share the secret of the medicine. It has no special ingredients. Actually, it’s just plain water. When you held it in your mouth and could not speak, your husband’s mind became calm. Your mind also gained some time to calm down. That’s all.”
This story makes it clear that if we are ready to forbear a little, life will become peaceful and happy.
When we are angry, we should refrain from speaking the words that come to mind. We should also desist from acting upon the decisions we make then. Anger is like an open wound in the mind. We must first try to heal the wound.
Anger arises when the uncontrolled mind overflows with turbulence. The adverse effects this emotion has on us and others is its own punishment. Actions that come from anger as well as their results are both the same: anger.
Most of us have experienced the agitation and discomfort of feeling angry, as well as the agony and lack of peace from becoming a victim of anger. This same anger can also be converted into pearls of love and compassion if channelled properly.
Patience and discernment are the only antidotes to anger. When we reflect on matters, we will gain the ability to perceive our own weaknesses. We will see our thoughts reflected clearly, as if in a clean mirror. We will understand the pettiness of anger and realise the greatness of forgiving.
The writer is a world-renowned spiritual leader and humanitarian.