Scenic landscapes, harmonious indoors—independent photographer Anurag Banerjee’s new
photo book I’m Not Here is replete with such images, making it an emotionally-stirring exploration of his idea of home. Banerjee, who hails from Shillong, moved to Mumbai about eight years ago.
His relationship with the two regions, which he refers to as his two homes, influences his creative work. “I have lived a full life and yet barely lived at all,” he writes in the book. I’m Not Here was launched on February 20 by Offset Projects, a Delhi-based photography archive founded by Anshika Varma. In this interview, we speak to Banerjee about his first photo book, his memories of home, and more. Excerpts…
On the book launch and collaborating with Offset Projects
The book launch was the first for everyone involved: me, Offset Bookstore as well as Devan’s [the coffee shop at Lodi Colony where the book launch took place]. None of us expected this response. We had a footfall of about 80-100 people, and we were pleasantly surprised. As far as my association with Offset goes, I couldn’t have asked for anything better. I have known Anshika and Adil
[Hasan] for a few years. They took care of the smallest details, which I, a first-time bookmaker, had never considered. I am eternally grateful that they were here to help with the book.
On the journey of I’m Not Here
I moved to Mumbai [from Shillong] in 2013. It was only in July 2014 that I was able to visit [home] again. That is when I had begun making this work. The title has stuck on since then, but the meaning it had has evolved over time.
I have been documenting my home in Shillong since 2014 but the way I have been working has changed over time. Back in 2014, I was new into photography and the project started as a typical documentary project. Over time, as I moved away from that style of photography, this work also started to change. The project started out as black and white work, and for the first two to three visits I stuck
to that. Eventually, I realised I was actually mimicking a lot of my influences. At one point of time, I remember looking at all the photographs I had clicked and I just deleted them because that wasn’t what I wanted to make.
My most crucial trip was the one in March, 2020. I was home for five months, the longest since I left Shillong. For the first time, I was completely sure. I knew what I was shooting. I knew the importance text plays in this work. I knew the photographer I was. Suddenly everything just began to fall into place and I knew this is the work I want to create.
On growing as a photographer
In the description, I say that this book is also my journey from adolescence to adulthood. When I began making this work I was in my early 20s, a very impressionable age. I was influenced by a lot of people. Slowly, as years passed, I realised the kind of photographer I was, the kind of photos I like to
create. This is why I say, this work is also a chart of my growth, both as a photographer and as a person.
On the title, I’m Not Here, and missing Shillong
One thing that I say is while the actual photographs are made in Shillong, the work is actually made in Mumbai. That’s why the title ‘I’m Not Here’. It is everything that I am thinking of when I am not in Shillong. When I am stuck in the traffic in Mumbai, and there is an autorickshaw that goes blurting the
horn, that is when I am thinking of the landscape and weather of Shillong.
When people ask me what is it that you miss about Shillong? It’s the weather. The weather in Shillong is amazing all year round and I really miss it. In ‘I’m Not Here’, I have tried to translate that [the weather] into the photograph, in a sense I have tried to use the photographs as sensory triggers. You see a
picture and you immediately understand that this is how this place would feel at this time.
On his influences
The book has had its share of influences. Back in 2014, I was reading Milan Kunderas that influenced me back then. Somewhere around 2017, I had read Sally Mann’s Hold Still: A Memoir with Photographs. In the book, there is a line ‘You should photograph what is closest to you’. I read this book in Shillong. I looked up; Snowy [his dog] was sleeping on the bed in front of me and there was
light falling on the wooden floor, and I was like this is what is closest to me… this is what I need to photograph. Of late, Teju Cole’s Open City and James Baldwin have had a huge impact on this work. The book starts with a line by Baldwin. As much as the line is apt for the book, it is also, in my small way, a tribute to him.