At various points of time in our lives, we may start to lose faith in ourselves and see only negativity all around due to certain emotional challenges that can have an adverse impact on our state of mind. During this difficult period, we are generally bereft of self-confidence and may end up making decisions that could fill us with regret forever. Such emotional challenges include feelings of disappointment, depression, loneliness, anxiousness, fear, horror, insecurity, rage, irritation, and hopelessness.
We only see extreme negativity in all spheres of life when we are emotionally disturbed. With low self-worth, we start slipping into depression and lose all enthusiasm about life. We even start doubting our skills in activities in which we had been performing exceptionally well over the years.
In this situation, the most common thoughts that bother us are: “I am good for nothing. I am useless. No one loves me. People keep exploiting me.”
Ultimately, we become so self-absorbed that we even forget our most basic strengths and tend to start pondering over our weaknesses and flaws.
We reach a stage where we take to heart or feel personally attacked by even mildly negative comments or remarks by others about us, thereby leading to increased negativity in our lives.
What are we supposed to do during this period of emotional turmoil?
It is at this time that we need someone who can support us and give us clarity. The warmth of loving ones and the nourishment of our intelligence with wisdom will enable us to deal with our emotional turmoil easily.
In this context, we must try to understand that it is our constant obsession for various things, which causes different attachments in life and eventually prevents us from being strong enough to face the realities of life. For instance, when a honeybee is too attached to suck honey out of the lotus, it forgets that it has the power to make a hole in the lotus petals when the lotus closes itself in the evening. As a result, the honeybee suffocates to death.
We can also take the example of a boy who is obsessed with the idea of finding a female life partner. In this case, for whatever reason, if the boy is unable to find a female companion, his attachment and obsession with the thought can lead to negative feelings and emotional turmoil. In order to overcome this emotional turmoil, it is imperative that the boy receives emotional empathy from someone who can understand his emotions, listen to his pain, and then impart some wisdom which will give him clarity of thought.
The key learning or wisdom that should be given to the boy in such a situation is that all individuals are free to make their own choices and that we should not let the dualities of this world affect us since everything in this universe is temporary.
It is well known that change is a constant principle of this creation and it is impossible to have the same situation, environment, and people around us all the time. Along with things, even individual perceptions about us will change but what we must realise is that these changes are beyond our control. Therefore, we should not get the better of us or make us lose faith and confidence in ourselves.
We should strive towards establishing a connection with our feelings and emotions, and accept the basic truth that often situations in our lives cannot be controlled or changed despite our best efforts. In conclusion, numerous difficult situations and testing periods will come our way in life.
It is during such times that we need to remind ourselves that we cannot possibly control everything. In the event that we lose something valuable, all that we need is empathy from our loved ones who are willing to support us without any expectations or judgments.
Make a list of such few loved ones and then start investing in these close relationships by spending quality time with them. Quality time means, making oneself available to them emotionally and trying to understand their feelings and needs.
We need to develop the right communication skills to express our emotions and needs and at the same time, we need to develop listening skills to understand their emotions and needs.
If we do this, we will have a support system around us which will save us from any kind of emotional turmoil which may come anytime in our life due to uncertainties of this world.
The author is a spiritual coach. He can be reached at www.growwithvivek.com
In the event that we lose something valuable, all that we need is empathy from our loved ones who are willing to support us without any expectations or judgments.