Happy Diwali, my lovely readers. I want you to tell me everything. Who taught you to put on makeup? Was it your mom? Older sister? A Japanese anime girl’s YouTube makeup Channel? While my mum taught me a whole lot about skincare — my small hands were kept far, far away from her makeup drawers, or so she tried.
The mysteries of painting your face to look like a completely different person were revealed to me by my friend Trisha, who was also a professional salsa dancer. I was 14 then. (I know, overachievers… GAH!) Anyway, later, I found out that I had actually learned how to out on STAGE makeup, which meant that I walked around like I had the hives for a few years. You know, with a red blush that would make Annabelle jealous. This lasted for a few months, till punk music found me.
So began the phase of me wanting to look dead. I’m not even joking! I wore white compact pressed powder and rimmed my eyes with kohl so heavily that my head nearly looked like eye sockets in a skull. I had random people coming up to me and saying, “Does anyone ever tell you that you look like the chick in Evanescence?” And then I truly did want to die!
Somewhere between trying to pass off as Gloria Estefan and Billie Joe Armstrong, and well then, myself — I became good at caking crap on my face, one might say. So when I walked into this makeup class at Sephora a couple of years back, I did so only for fun. I thought I finally had this down to a pat.
However, after hours of some INTENSE makeup application, came a horrifying realisation that I had again, not been doing my makeup in the most flattering manner. “Try it again,” the instructor, a commercial makeup artist, said as he handed me the liner I’d been wearing for years at that point. “Your application makes your eyes look droopy.” F!@#$%^&* and every other expletive in English, Hindi and my broken Tamil!
I huffed, wiped my lid, re-applied. “No, again!!” He shoved another clean Q-tip at me. Though what I really wanted was to cry till my clumpy mascara gave me panda eyes, I came out of that session better looking, with some amazing lessons, and certainly less droopy eyed. The best part? I started wearing lesser makeup than I did earlier.
With all these lessons, combined with my earlier hive-experience, I bring you my (very) unofficial series of makeup tutorials where I’ll give you all my love and tips. I’ll start this with something most dear to my heart: blush. RUN to your nearest Tarte counter and play with their cheek stains immediately! They smell like fruits and sunshine and brings pure joy upon anybody who swatches it at the back of their hand. (Please wipe the tester with a tissue though, gross!) They also make for fabulous gifts this Diwali, since they’re a novelty and not-so-cheap. They last forever, and can be quite addicting.
Tell me who taught you how to put on makeup and your weirdest makeup phases. Did I mention that I also sometimes wore red blush as eyeshadow when I was 14? GOTH GLAMOUR, hello!!
Saumya Chawla
@meoowbox
The writer loves to over-share, drink wine & watch period dramas