I envision my dream home as a place where snack options are so plentiful that they require their own room. Closets filled with glass bins: full of different cheese, truffle chips and jello candies. I see a fro-yo machine, complete with a toppings bar. I see giant, gooey cookies and cupcakes. My lipstick hoarding habit also ensures that I continue to see myself no further than two-feet away from a lipstick at any given point.
So we have come to the conclusion: lipstick is great. Eating is great. Putting the two together — more often than not, results in disastrous situations. It invariably gets smudged all over your face, you end up looking like the Joker, and your mum thinks you have a wild secret romance…when in reality, you just had a moment with a sausage roll the size of your face. I stare at my lipstick-covered paninis and sob.
Since we are all about that science, I looked it up and learned that on average a woman eats 2.5 kilograms of lipstick in her lifetime. Can you imagine that? My cursory Google search soon became nightmarish, because lipsticks can often contain a fair bit of heavy metals, parabens and chemicals.
Ergo, the question — does this mean that you give up on lipsticks completely? It only makes sense that these toxins should have a bigger impact the quicker the lipstick wears off. Looking for brands who invest in the quality of ingredients would be a good place to start. Smudge-proof liquid lipsticks are also winners — the kind that are made to stay on your lips and nowhere else. I find myself using creamy tube lipsticks rather infrequently as time goes by.
I always keep a tube of Hourglass Rouge’s liquid lipstick close to my heart and vanity. This stuff is like an old cast-iron pot or a reliable friend — it gets the job done with minimal fuss. I put it on in the morning and snack all day, nervous-nibble at the end of a pencil, eat my dinner, drink my (and your) wine, take an accidental nap and wake up to see that it is still perfectly applied, 15 hours later. It’s also formulated without parabens, sulfates, gluten (hah!) and is a completely cruelty-free brand.
The thing with stamina workhorse lipsticks is that they usually come without gilted mahogany tubes, no luxurious satin finishes or creamy vanilla scents. If you have a ritualistic, feel-good relationship with lipstick, these may not be your products. They also aren’t too fantastic on dry lips, so overnight lip masks (DIYs with olive oil and sugar are always fun) are probably a good idea. Write to me about your Food vs Lipstick stories. Happy meal, happy mouth, happy snacking!