CHENNAI: Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. This could be your sacred meditation grove in the garden, your bedroom or the one place in the house where you won’t be disturbed for at least five minutes: the bathroom. If you have boys in the house, do a scan for stray droplets of pee on the floor. You know that their aim is poor. Lie down on your yoga mat or your bed. The latter may be littered with toys and pencil stubs. Let them be. Overcoming the physical discomfort of a Lego piece embedded in your left butt cheek to attain a higher yogic state is challenging but not impossible.
Lie down. Close your eyes. Keep your arms away from your body, palms facing upwards. Yes, your dog may come and deposit something wet and smushy in your hand but do not be tempted to open your eyes and see what it is. Let it be. If it’s poop, you really should have spent more time toilet training him, shouldn’t you? Now before we start, visualise your body as it lies there on a pee -scattered floor or with Lego Ninjago’s camping in your tush or dog poo in your palm. Maybe, all three. Also, bangs? What were you thinking? Let go though of the feelings of shame coursing through your body. Accept that this is your life. There is no escaping from it. Not even with meditation.
Listen to the sounds around you. The fan whirring. The voice in your head that tells you the bangs seemed like a good idea at the time. The terrifying rasp of your eight-year-old whispering if he can have screen time in your ear. Why does he sound like a serial killer? Now focus on sounds from far away: traffic, the washing machine, your children threatening to kill each other as they fight for the remote, your laugh that was last heard in 2005. Focus on each part of your body. Your left foot, your left lower leg, your left knee, your left thigh. Your left pelvic floor.
Yes, you are overdue to see your ob-gyn. Travel through each and every part of the left side of your body from bottom to top. As you focus on each part of your body, will that part to relax. Will it like you will yourself to get out of bed every morning and function. Will it like you will your children to behave — yes, you can make scary eyes at your knee if it’s not co-operating. Your body will comply reluctantly. It has no choice. Imagine that you are floating on water. There is no one else for miles around. The water is gently lapping at your body and you feel free. Free at last. If you are actually getting wet that does not mean you have attained a higher yogic state. Most likely a pipe has burst. Or your dog is peeing on you. Or the children have come into the bathroom to pee. It will be alright. Actually, it won’t. Om Shanti.
Menaka Raman @menakaraman