CHENNAI: My day starts early. The children leave the house by 6.15 am to catch the school bus (please don’t ask), and once they’ve left and I’ve walked the dog, I am more or less free by 7.15 am to start my day and get things going. This is wonderful in many ways. I can exercise, meditate, sit on my balcony and look lovingly at the plants I have yet to kill. But, the reality is that by 7.15 am, while many people with jobs that require commuting to an office are hitting the gym, or eating breakfast or picking out what to wear, I’m looking at my email and messaging my gym instructor yet another excuse as to why I am missing my work-out.
When I decided to go the work from home, consultant/freelance route, I told myself it would give me more time to pursue other things — writing, plant-killing and yes, being there for the children. I did envision a life where I had more say over what I did and how much I did it. But it’s not the Instagram- worthy ‘home office’ life I thought it would be. It’s a lot more sitting in KR Puram traffic and working on your laptop so that you use your time wisely, productively, efficiently.
The result of this start-yourday- at-7-am-and-work-your-waythrough- monster-traffic-jams is exhaustion. It’s snapping at the kids at 7 pm at the dinner table. It’s not having the inclination or energy to snuggle with them at bedtime. It’s falling asleep while your partner does the endless Netflix scroll. I’ve been struggling with certain notions of what I thought my freelance/consultant life would be like in my head and the actual reality of it. I’ve been talking it through with friends, and I thought sharing some of the things they suggested I try might help those of you in a similar situation.
1.You don’t have to say yes to everything. It’s tempting, because ‘make hay while the sun shines’ was a proverb drilled repeatedly into our young minds. Instead, I’m going to try to only make that hay which I really want to and which I have the time to make. If the entire point of being a consultant is that you have time to pursue other things, don’t take on so much that you fill all that ‘other time’ with more work.
2.Don’t start your day at 7 am. Read the paper, have that second cup of coffee, read a book, go for a stroll or shock and horror, go back to bed.
3. Yes, other people look like they’re doing so much more than you are. ‘Look like’ being the keywords. They’re possibly going through the same anxiety you are.
4.Take screenshots of nice things that colleagues, clients and friends have said about you and your work in the past, and look at them when you’re feeling down, and remember that ‘hey! Maybe I’m not that bad at all of this after all.’
5.Make time for your friends, because when you fall down the rabbit hole of self-loathing and doubt, they will be the ones who help you find your way out. Disclosure: This was written at 7.30 am, but I am going to atone for my sins by going back to bed.
MENAKA RAMAN @menakaraman