Most people begin a new year by making promises to improve their lives, though research points out that resolutions are likely to fail by February each year. No, I don’t intend to be a wet towel so early on in the year, but I do have a solution to offer. Though this may look ominous, I urge you, this year, to shed tears instead of kilos. Crying can relieve pain, release happy hormones, resist bacteria and improve sleep. Getting those tears out may have some starting trouble — we are told so much to not cry that we forget how to as we grow older. But once we allow ourselves to process our emotions and let go of the tears without holding back any, I doubt there will be any looking back.
This makes it a good resolution to commit to, one that benefits the body and is not hard to stick with. We are still far away from making time to cry or commit to crying, but to promise to not withhold anything, not stop once started and not holding up age or identity as excuses, are good enough, to begin with. Imagine the potential crying could have — if boys aren’t brought up being told not to cry and not be like a girl; if girls aren’t told that they get their way by crying and to be strong like a boy instead; if crying is not associated with weakness. What happens if crying becomes like the now infamous Kolams in the state? What if instead of the kudumba thalaivis, men and entire families took to the streets to cry? Imagine the impact of a photograph from a protest that has groups of men wailing, flapping their hands around, bloodshot eyed, tears streaming down their faces.
How much value is there in a single woman’s tears? None, till a group of women are caught together weeping about a common cause. How much really is the value of a single male tear? I assume quite a bit, for a man crying could allow the rest of the family to cry without inhibition, a star crying will have fans follow suit, and a politician crying could fool an entire country. Crying exposes a vulnerability, a longing of what is gone or bidding farewell to what may soon go missing. It points us to what is broken — a heart, a system, or a democracy. Crying is the acknowledgement of loss, of grieving a loved one or a beloved idea of India. Tears are a good thing to shed along with people who lack empathy, and akin to weight loss it may leave one feeling lighter and stronger.
Crying can warrant kindness, consideration or empathy for a person, and in a nation, it acts as a call to misery, a comment on unhappiness, or remembering what it was. If one person cries there is an opinion, but in many criers there is solidarity, and when they cry long enough there could be systematic change. Many people don’t have a choice, but if you do, cry without onions for the economy, cry with your families for those who have lost their children, cry with your neighbours for the women at Shaheen Bagh. This year along with a new year and new you ask for a new nation. Remember that shedding tears offers the same incentives as shedding kilos — strength and resistance, but in crying there’s hope too.