I consider myself a well-adjusted parent with reasonable expectations. All I want is for my child to win a Nobel Prize at 10 and cite me as the reason she even won. All this while my music tops the charts in 12 different countries and Ellen calls me in for a quick chat. There are so many different parenting styles, I get confused – am I a helicopter parent or a lawnmower parent? Is a soft spoken tiger mother called a cat mom? Can you really have a career and be a great parent? How do you have the time to teach your child the important things in life?
But recently I realised that there’s a way for my kid to absorb all the life lessons I want her to learn. A way for her to learn by example and not just words. We all agree that it takes a village to raise a child, but with nuclear families, we should take all the parenting help we can get, human or otherwise. I’m talking about the two biggest jerks I have fallen madly in love with – my cats. Let’s dive into some of the things they’ve accidentally taught my daughter:
Take your seat at the table: When they have the house to themselves, my cats are happy to walk over laptops, play in the kitchen cabinets, and train seriously for a career as trapeze swingers (yes I have to replace ALL my curtains). But when guests come over, they are terrified and retreat to a quiet corner also known as my closet. And they don’t believe in the concept of tolerating a little discomfort in the face of grave danger; they make the hideout a party. And of course that means tossing my carefully folded and ironed clothes into a messy pile on the floor. This is a lesson in unapologetically taking up space and owning the room that Sheryl Sandberg should be proud of. Thankfully, my human child hasn’t taken to throwing clothes.
Know your worth: As soon I step out of the shower every morning, I’m greeted by the sight of two kittens staring up at their dad (I could never hope to be as nurturing a cat mom as my husband). It warms my heart and fills me with joy...until they see the love on my face and promptly turn their faces away. Should you express your affection? Absolutely. But does that mean you should forget your own worth? Absolutely not. Yet another lecture I don’t have to give my child.
Spend time with family: I will admit they didn’t exactly lead by example here. They simply gave us no choice. For some reason, I still like to use earphones with wires attached to them; the technologically advanced cotton balls masquerading as airpods mean very little to me. Not that my opinion matters; my poor earphones were dragged out of my bag and brutally ripped to shreds until they started to resemble slightly ragged airpods. Was it a lesson in moving with the times and adapting to what’s new? Was it a slightly aggressive message about spending less time with technology and more time with loved ones? I’ll let you decide.
There is plenty of research that shows how great cats are for families. They reduce stress (when they’re not screaming at you to feed them at 4 am, I mean), help you sleep better (again, read that thing I said about the 4 am treats), and make you do your best work (they’ve shredded all my first drafts). But they also deliver profound life lessons to kids, better than any human parent ever can. So go adopt some cats right now.
Tuning In Bindu Subramaniam