BENGALURU : Summer is here and with it mangoes. Now, there probably are some people around somewhere who really dislike mangoes or even are allergic to something in mangoes. But for the vast majority of us, at least here in India, mangoes are love. It is the stuff of poetry and music. There is something very sensual about mangoes and that sensuality has been used in mango flavoured drinks, ice cream and all kinds of things, often unrelated to mango itself.
The shape, texture and flavours of mangoes are hugely varied. Some are small and sweet, and others are huge like the Salem gundu mangoes. Some are great raw and need to be had with salt and chillies, or better when pickled. Some mangoes are to be grated and cooked with spices, mixed in rice and others are lovely baked with fish. Aren’t we as people as varied as all that? Not all of us are the sweetest around, and some of us do need a bit of pickling before we are really at our best.
Some of us can take a bit of rough handling like the thickskinned varieties of mangoes that go into making the fiery avakai pickles, while others are fragile and need very gentle handling, and bruise easily like Alphonso mangoes or badami mangoes - great when they have been gently handled, but a messy mush if tossed around. The trick is always to know which one needs to be handled which way, and with mangoes, generations of farmers and consumers have learned how to see them for what they are and have the best mango experience. With people, it is not so easy.
We have had millennia with people, far more than we possibly have had with mangoes, and yet we probably understand how to pick the right mango for the purpose at hand, than we know how to tell what sort of people we are with and how to really be with them. We could look at a mango and in a heartbeat tell whether it would be great to eat ripe, or whether to eat raw, or cook it, but we could be with people for decades and still not be able to quite understand them - are we supposed to leave each other well alone, or be friends with each other.
Is there something more, maybe even a really special connection that we can count on? If we were like mangoes, life might have been that much easier, but would it have been as interesting? If we could look at a person and immediately know what role we would have in each other’s lives, would we really have been happier, or are we actually more satisfied with the way things are now, that we need to muddle around, never quite knowing, making many mistakes on the way? Much as we think we might like life different from how things are, maybe love should be mysterious and maybe the mangoes are just where love is that much more straightforward.
(The author is a counsellor with InnerSight)