BENGALURU: Irecently came across a poem by Joopaka Subhadra, a Dalit woman who writes in Telugu. In this poem titled ‘Maa Avva Dukkalni Dunniposukunna Tokkudubanda’( My mother, a slab in the doorway that mustered sorrow), the narrator describes her mother as ‘the sun that went awry’ and ‘a beat produced by a broken drum’.
While reading this poem, I remembered famed Kannada litterateur P Lankesh calling his mother ‘a bear in the wilderness’ - a raw, untamed force. I am sure many of us have some wonderful stories of the resilience, hardiness and unbeatable spirit of our mothers.
On Sunday, I woke up to find my timeline overflowing with hundreds of Mother’s Day wishes. It was heartening to see people sharing anecdotes, pictures, and paying tributes to their mothers. Many expressed regret on not being able to celebrate the day with their mothers due t o travel restrictions.
It has been more than a year now since the first wave of the pandemic swept over the planet, turning our lives upside down. Many women who had been balancing work, home and motherhood have suddenly found themselves rearranging their lives wherein all these zones overlap. A techie friend tells me: “I have been able to assign a lot more of my time to my kids now. However, it is not easy to slot your day into work hours and family duties. There are days when I have sincerely wished I had a separate space for work. The very next moment, I end up feeling guilty!”.
I also know a working mom who has come up with a schedule of activities for her children during her work hours. She has them painting, solving puzzles, prepping for meals, window cleaning, walking the dog and what not. “They resent not having unrestricted access to their mobile phones but they are learning some life skills here. They will thank me later,” she tells me.
Meanwhile, I also observed another wonderful development since last year’s lockdown. Many mothers emerged out of their erstwhile shells, transforming into seasoned businesswomen. Pegged by the pandemic, Aparna Rao, a Kannadiga homemaker who lives in Mumbai, started a Facebook group called ‘Mahila Marukatte’ (Women’s Market) for women vendors who had no access to digital platforms. It has women selling food items, health products, clothing, jewellery, giving yoga classes, dance lessons etc. - from every corner of Karnataka. Launched with a handful of women, now it boasts of 40,000 women members and is known for doing meticulous, honest business.
Many women in my neighbourho od have be e n selling baked goods, delectable dishes, homemade masalas, designer masks, handmade artefacts throughout the pandemic.
Glad with the outcome, they say it has inspired them to think of expanding their businesses when things get a little better. I ask their opinion on being compensated for household work. Most of them smile and tell me it won’t happen anytime soon. One of them waves me off, saying: “We are moms. Homemakers. We juggle. We are patient. One step at a time.”