In ordinary times, we expect death to visit us and our loved ones largely in the fullness of life. We suppose there is a natural order to life and death, with death expected to come when it does for the most infirm of the lot, giving the people lots of time before coming again for another person. We hope children outlive their elders, we trust there is time, that there’s a future.
In that faith, we take time to plan and prepare for life. We work towards a career, build homes, choose a partner, fall in love and let ourselves be loved. We believe there is time, there is life and that therefore, we can wait, delay our gratification, let things develop and have even better of a lived experience because we
waited and worked towards something.
If we knew how little time we have, how much would we imagine and plan for our lifetime, and what would we prioritise? If we were told we had exactly 10 years, what would we do? How about 10 days? And, to cut it really fine, how about 10 minutes?
If we were really assured that no matter what, we will have 10 years of life but no further, maybe we would encash all our assets, go on a bucket list tour, experiencing everything we wished to experience in life, counting down to the last rupee for the last day. If it was 10 days, we might do something else altogether. We might try and put our affairs in order in double quick time, writing wills and such, making sure our assets go where we wished for it to go, say long good byes to the ones we care about, eat the food we really loved and go for glory in those few days.
If it was just 10 minutes, none of that might matter. We might just want to make those two or three phones calls to our most beloved, tell them we love them and maybe call someone we wronged to fess up and ask for forgiveness, maybe do one last act of grace and try to let go of fear, as we face the great ever after with as much courage as we can muster.Chances are, the lesser time we know we have, the more we might just want to connect with loved ones and when it really is hardly any time at all, maybe it is the only thing that matters other than the fear of the imminent death itself.
Nothing clarifies one’s love as much as the idea of losing it or ourselves. Whether it is Covid or something else, the fear of death quite likely also brings clarity on what and who one loves, and that wish to be connected in love overrides almost everything else.Do we really need the reminder of mortality to get such clarity? How would life be if we could remember that love matters at all times? Can you imagine such a life? In all the gloom and doom of the pandemic, is this possible?
(The author is a counsellor with InnerSight)