Once on a flight from somewhere to Delhi, I sat comfortably in my usual aisle seat, having long outgrown the youthful urge to sit by the window. The window seat, I had grown to realise, was strategically a bad move. This time, the middle seat beside me was empty, and I closed my eyes in relief. I looked forward to some elbow room and no threat of a possibly smelly, uncouth passenger beside me for the next two-and-a-half hours, an all-too-common occurrence nowadays.
An argument two rows ahead made me open my eyes. A rough, unkempt man was having loud words with the air hostess about a seating mix-up. She looked at the empty seat next to mine, clearly intending to send the man there. I froze in horror. Meeting her eyes, I rolled mine and gave the faintest shake of my head. Her lips twitched slightly, and she led him away to an empty seat elsewhere. When she passed by me before take-off, I discreetly murmured, ‘Thank you’. She smiled, shaking her head, as if to say, “No problem”. The wonderful yet sad thing about this encounter was the instant understanding that silently passed between two Indian women, even across generations, that some men were best avoided.
For years now, especially as I grew older, my strongest feeling about the harassment that I faced—that every Indian girl and woman has faced—has been regret. Regret that I had felt so sullied by the words or deeds of ‘eve-teasers’ that I usually pretended that nothing had happened. This was the wrong thing to do, I realised because it only gave them the guts to harass more girls and women. My silence during those times was utterly wrong. I now feel that I let other girls down by not shouting out loud every time I was harassed by the boys, men and unclejis of Delhi, calling them out at once and publicly shaming them.
The Greek word for repentance, ‘metanoia’, means to change one’s mind and direction. It is described as ‘implying a fundamental shift in perspective and attitude towards sin and God’. Good poetry expresses our feelings when we are glad, sad or sorry, and the Bible is a rich source of great poetry. The words attributed to King David come to mind, though uttered in a different context: ‘Then David said to God, “I have sinned greatly by doing this. Now, I beg you, take away the guilt of your servant. I have done a very foolish thing.”’ (1 Chronicles 21:8).
To stay silent, I feel, was cowardly and also a sin, the sin of not speaking up against wrongdoing. It fell on the wrong side of personal dharma. As 2 Corinthians 7:10 says, ‘For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret.’ Matthew 3:8 says, ‘Do the things that show you really have changed your hearts and lives.’
And it’s hard not to think of this: ‘So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin’ (James 4:17). But also, this verse: ‘For whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.’ (John 3:20). Each one of us can and must do what we can to make things better. I would like to be able to use these words at journey’s end: “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (Timothy 4:7).
It would be sad to have to think, instead, of King Solomon’s moving words of regret. Here, I must leave the modern versions of the Bible and return to the one I grew up with, the King James Version: “Then I looked on all the works that my hands had wrought, and on the labour that I had laboured to do: and, behold, all was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was no profit under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 2:11).
The goal of peaceful co-existence is stated in the Book of Isaiah, which scholars say had three authors: “And he shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into ploughshares, and their spears into pruning hooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more” (Isaiah 2:4).
For moral and spiritual encouragement on why we must school our minds to be brave and do the right thing, I also find reassurance in these words from Isaiah 54:4, partly quoted here: ‘Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth’. Other encouraging words from Isaiah 41:10–13 say, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed … For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you.”
What can we tell ourselves, though, as an embattled society? Perhaps we could say: “But understand this; that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive … ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people” (Timothy 3:1–17). And let’s activate ‘avoid’ to ‘oppose’, for harassment is war.
Renuka Narayanan | Senior journalist
(Views are personal)
(shebaba09@gmail.com)