Sonia Madam has just declared her wealth. And left the rank and file incredulous. It’s just Rs 9 crore. A piddly nine, or money that won’t even buy her a 40 X 60 site in Jayanagar. “Vande Mata Rome, we earn that much in One Day, Mata Rome,” is how one luminary in Bangalore responded, hands folded. Poor madam does not realise how much her disclosure is demoralising politicians who want to rise through the ranks to serve the nation: “Mother of all politicians, and poorer than a municipal councillor? Politics is bakwaas, yaar!” Some are even considering switching to private sector crime. Times are really bad, no?
Varun, S M Krishna and the RSS Feed
Up there in the north, while Varun Gandhi of the BJP was saying scandalously heart-warming things about his rival Rahul Gandhi, here in Bangalore, Congress elder S M Krishna was deploying his Texas-Mandya drawl to praise his party’s age-old enemy, the RSS. “Learn from them how to mobilise voters,” he told a meeting of Congress workers. Must be climate change or global warming or one of those things.
The BJP bosses stepped in quickly and got Varun to eat his words. (His mom Maneka is an animal rights activist, so he can only eat veg). Here, since Congress leaders can’t order the venerable Krishna around, they are quietly checking what chit he was reading his speech from. That’s because, as you may remember, our distinguished ex-foreign minister had once picked up the Portuguese foreign minister’s speech and delivered it with aplomb to an august UN audience: “Caros amigos, bom dia, adios”.
Given Slow Motion Krishna’s track record out there, Congress leaders are anxious to find out if he just read out from a chit belonging to Yeddyurappa or Eshwarappa. They are scrambling to check all chits lying on his table. What if he picks up Deve Gowda’s and declares, “Ayyo Shivane! This <beep> Congress has ruined the country for six decades.” Or worse, something from the AAP: “Mukesh Ambani runs this country’s government. Mukesh Ambani has said the Congress is his shop, that he can purchase what he wants from the Congress.”
Congress leaders want to lend him a pair of less stylish, more functional spectacles. Krishna, nee begane borrow!
Narendra Modi alleges airport authorities delayed his helicopter.
J Be clear when you ask for a chopper. They thought you were asking for one of those things politicians use when they are angry.
(Your daily dose of satire)