KOZHIKODE: Images of fiery Muslim college girls from Malappuram taking part in protests, of late, might have given people the impression that they have come a long way. There are still a lot many girls like Ayisha (name changed) who have been pushed into child marriages and struggle to get even a decent education. Twenty-four-year-old Ayisha’s travails that include bruises of three marriages, one of them when she was a minor, show that the much-lauded ‘change’ for women in the district has miles to go.
Ayisha is the eldest daughter in a middle-class family in Malappuram. She has three younger sisters. Her first marriage was at the age of 17 in 2012 when she completed Plus Two. “I was good at studies and had got above 80 per cent marks in SSLC and Plus Two exams. I wanted to take a PhD. But the “grown-up girl” was a concern for the family, relatives and local residents alike. I fell for the emotional blackmailing by my family. My only demand was that I would continue my studies after marriage,” Ayisha told TNIE.
However, after the marriage, her 30-year-old husband rejected her demand to study further. “His reasoning was that going to college is for developing extra-marital affairs,” said Ayisha. The marriage didn’t last a month and Ayisha was back home and pursued BSc Chemistry in a reputed college in Kozhikode. Meanwhile, proposals came on a daily basis as the unmarried girl of her age was a big worry for all. “I had passed graduation with first class and wanted to pursue PG. My parents weren’t convinced, saying all girls of my age had been married. My protests such as starving myself and staying put in a locked room did not yield any results,” recalled Ayisha.
Her second marriage happened when she was 20. It turned out to be a disaster as the husband used to thrash her with a belt brutally. “Domestic violence was the norm. He married for the sole reason for providing company to his mother. For him, I was an object for sex.”She returned to her house before six months into the marriage.
Malappuram still tops in child marriages
Though child marriages are decreasing in Malappuram, it still tops for the ignominy in the state. As many as 75 such marriages were prevented last year but three were held, as per the data of the district child protection unit. “Lack of proof is the biggest obstacle we face in curtailing child marriages. Poverty and presence of three or four girls in a family with less age difference are the driving factors of such marriages,” explains Safiya K, district child marriage prohibition officer in Areekode area.
Her mother’s words
“Ayisha’s first marriage broke because of her insistence to continue her studies. The second ended because of domestic violence. We don’t know the exact reason for the failure of the third one. In all cases, the husbands did not want her to pursue education. I will never suggest another marriage to her. Let her study and be independent,” her mother told TNIE. Interestingly, the 48-year old got married when she was 19, a right denied to her daughter.