Off the cuff: No more monikers
No more monikers
The Nilgiris district administration recently tried its hand at branding by naming a tusker ‘Kottamalai Bhaskar.’ However, the move didn’t go down well with everyone. Press persons promptly took the matter to senior officials in the Gudalur forest division, who responded with what can only be described as swift damage control. A revised statement was issued, ditching the nickname and calling it a ‘mistake.’ Officials clarified that naming wild animals was not just a faux pas but could also be deemed disrespectful—because, apparently, the tusker didn’t sign off on it. The incident is a reminder that while elephants might forgive a lot, questionable PR stunts aren’t one of them.
Barter on tracks
On a recent suburban train ride to Chengalpattu, a TNIE reporter witnessed a moment that could only be called ‘train ride diplomacy’. As usual, a trans person was collecting alms, while most passengers perfected the art of becoming invisible. But not the man sitting next to the journalist. With the calm confidence of a seasoned negotiator, he casually pulled out a Rs 10 note, handed it over, and, with a grin that said ‘I’ve got a plan’, asked for Rs 5 back. The trans person, probably wondering if they’d discovered a hidden gem of a deal, happily complied. The two exchanged grins, and the train moved on, leaving everyone else in awe of this low-key barter champ.
On Santa’s naughty list
Festive cheer in Vellore has taken an unexpected turn, thanks to the local police. While most people are paying for their holiday treats, officers—especially those under the Superintendent of Police—have mastered the art of freeloading. Bakery and sweet stall owners report receiving ‘special orders’ for up to 1,000 cakes, but any payment? Not really. A generous 10% is all they get. Refuse? A patrol car parks in front of your shop, or food inspectors suddenly show interest in your hygiene. It’s not protecting and serving—it’s seasonal extortion. While bakers tally losses, the police enjoy the festive season on someone else’s tab.
Bananas seal deals
Vedasandur DMK MLA S Gandhirajan had everyone chuckling at the inauguration of the new Government Polytechnic in Guziliamparai, Dindigul, with his rather ‘appealing’ approach to bureaucracy. Frustrated by delays in getting approval for Magistrate Courts in Guziliamparai and Kanniyakumari—where officials claimed Guziliamparai was ‘too small’ for such grandeur—Gandhirajan decided it was time for a little monkey business. Armed with several dozen Sirumalai bananas, he met Minister for Law S Regupathy in Chennai. The result? Approval granted faster than you can peel a banana. The MLA’s fruity diplomacy left the audience and officials in stitches, proving that when logic fails, a bunch of bananas might just do the trick. Bureaucracy never tasted so sweet!
(Contributed by S Senthil Kumar, Siddharth Prabhakar, Rajalakshmi Sampath & Saravana MP; compiled by Dinesh Jefferson E)