Imagine if one of your most-awaited days also brings with it life-changing moments? Something similar happened to Sanat Chadha (18), a class 12 student of Springdales School, Dhaula Kuan, a few weeks ago. As any other teen, Sanat—though assigned male at birth, Sanat identifies as gender fluid, and uses he/she/they as pronouns—seemed gleeful while attending their farewell party.
However, the reasons for this happiness went beyond just the anticipation of experiencing a new chapter of life. For Sanat, it was the satisfaction of wearing a sari in front of their friends. After their post-farewell photographs emerged on social media, Sanat received immense love from people. They also made an Instagram reel about their experience, and were showered with support on the internet.
Offering love and support
It was about three to four months before their farewell that Sanat decided to scour for the perfect outfit to wear to the event. After much contemplation, they felt that a sari was the right outfit to flaunt on a day that also happens to be the last big event in school. Amid one of their outfit trials, Sanat’s mother caught a glimpse of them. “She liked the sari, and we ended up discussing the make-up,” they share.
Moments prior to stepping into school for the farewell, Sanat recalls being unsure of their sartorial decision. However, their friends complimented Sanat, making them feel relaxed. “My friends were very warm. Everyone complimented me. The best thing is nobody made a huge deal out of it. They just said, ‘You look good’. Nobody made me feel different.”
On returning home after the event, Sanat’s dadi (paternal grandmother) noticed their outfit. “She called me in her room and said ‘You look beautiful’,” mentions Sanat. They then showed their grandmother pictures clicked at school. “She liked them all.”
Reflecting on a long journey
The first time Sanat wore a sari was while collaborating with a brand. “I wanted to try something different and that is when the sari popped up in my head.” Wanting to try out their mother’s red sari, Sanat reached out to her. “My mom was hesitant. She asked a few questions and I answered them all. I counter-questioned by asking ‘Why is it not okay?’ and she understood,” they add. Sanat’s mother helped them drape the first sari they wore. “People know me for that red sari now,” Sanat says.
The support Sanat’s mother showed towards their queer identity is definitely an example for other parents of queer children to follow. “It took some time. There was a lot of hesitation at first, but gradually it just became normal to the point that now if I want to wear a sari, I just choose something from her closet.”
Fight against homophobia
Social media has definitely opened up avenues for most people to share their stories. However, it also exposes those who belong to the LGBTQIA+ community to judgments and (harsh) comments by strangers on the internet. Even though Sanat has received a lot of love and appreciation from friends and other internet users who often come across their Instagram page, Sanat mentions that they encounter homophobia on a regular basis. “Online hate is very common. Unfortunately, trolling happens very often. I get like 50 comments every day that are homophobic or offensive in general.”
Sanat has, however, resolved to not engage with the hate they receive. “Giving attention to those 50 [homophobic] comments is not worth it because there are hundreds [comments] that say positive things,” they say. “I have got used to not giving them the attention they want. I have learnt that it is their insecurities that they are trying to put on me. I mostly don’t engage with them. But, you know, there are times when I want to respond, so I pin their comments. After some time, they always end up deleting comments,” concludes Sanat.