BENGALURU: Women are molested every day and many times during their lifetime. Often, they don't carry on as before and instead change behaviour or routine in the hope that the assaults will end.
They take more expensive taxi rides, stop friendly conversations with strangers and lose courage for a solitary stroll.
Suyasha Kumari usually travels by bus and has a bit of a walk from the bus stop to her home. One evening, as she and her neighbour were walking home, three men on a bike slammed Suyasha's neighbour on her chest, following which she fell.
The deserted road lacked proper street lights and there was no one around to help them that night. This is the same place where a few days ago, Suyasha's brother was pushed and robbed of all his valuables.
“We had filed a complaint when the robbery occurred and the police assured us that they would take out regular patrols, but I haven’t seen any of them here”, Suyasha says.
“I had to change my shift timings to make sure that I came home early, and my mother even suggested quitting. But I want to work and I refuse to be intimidated by this incident. My parents are so worried and keep calling me until I reach home. My father waits for me at the bus stop and accompanies me back home, even though he is busy with his work.” She says hers isn't an isolated incident and has occurred to a few more women.
Tenzin Tsewang, media student at Christ University, had a nasty experience as she was returning from college one day. A guy started following her back home and would call out to her, when he saw no one around. Not wanting him to see where she lived, Tenzin turned and confronted him. He asked her if she knew this one girl that he knew too and when Tenzin said no, he slowly slunk away.
“It was a very scary experience”, she says. She is so shaken by the incident that she doesn't walk back home anymore and has started taking an auto while coming back home even though it adds to her expenses. "I do not want to come face to face with that stranger and experience that situation again ever," she says.
Vidyashree Ramesh, another student, had a terrifying experience when she took an autorickshaw to go towards SG Palya. After speaking to the auto driver about the route, she noticed the driver took a detour and took her to the opposite side of the rickshaw stand and flashed hat her. Shocked and disgusted, she ran from the place towards the main road.
In another incident, an autodriver pointed at the model of a sportswear billboard ad and asked her if she was wearing what the woman was displaying in the advertisement. The driver then adjusted his rearview mirror to lech on her. She ignored the man throughout the ride and got down before reaching her destination.
"A woman can't feel safe anywhere whether it's a city, town or a village. It's the same everywhere! Changing the mentality of people will take a lot of time," she says.
Following these incidents, she still takes the risk with auto drivers as the vehicles make for faster rides.
Meera Haran Alva who is a consultant psychologist says, “There are repercussions where when a person is abused or feels unsafe, they may develop Posttraumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD), which leaves a person feeling anxious, having frequent nightmares, leading to depression and in worst-case scenarios it even leads to suicidal tendencies. These kind of experiences do affect a person’s lifestyle.” Gowrishankar, a lawyer, opines that more than 70% of cases of harassment and assault are filed by women. Perpetrators are either men, women, or group of men and women, but the victims are mostly women.
“Very few women register cases as they fear that the case and its complications will affect their normal life. Also, most women fear the repercussions of having to file a complaint against an influential person and do not want to get into the whole drama.”
Maryann Sibin and her roommates were surrounded by men, who tried to molest them at a recharge store. A group of young men probably in their early twenty’s who looked like they were from well-to-do families started smiling at them randomly. Maryann says, “Call it a woman’s intuition, I knew this was not the innocent smiles that they would give their mothers”. The men slowly started approaching them and one of the men “accidentally” brushed against one of her roommates and the rest surrounded them and intruded their personal space. The shopkeeper, who was a mere spectator until then, asked the women to leave for their hostels immediately.
She says instances like these are common and women travelling in BMTC buses have their own share of gross experiences like hands “accidenatlly” touching their backs and breasts being pressed in a crowded bus. She says that some bus conductors would press themselves against the women as it is the best place for them to grope and get away with it.
Maryann as a result stopped going out after 10 pm and ensures that she is accompanied by an elder male. Amy (name changed) is someone who has been travelling in BMTC buses since she was in 5th grade. She says that over the years she has encountered many instances of molestations. Once, while she was trying to get on a bus during rush hour, someone from the crowd cupped her. She hit him out with her elbow and the hand dropped. The incident left her in shock and for a few minutes, she went blank. After that day, she waits until everyone has boarded and climbs last, which usually means she wouldn’t get a seat.