What it takes to be on top of things Can you list the qualities of a leader, please? Primed to Lead
Dear Readers,
In the recent move by our Honourable Prime Minister who brought in the sudden move of demonetisation overnight, many started by questioning the decision and finally as frustration built up, some people even went on to question whether he considers himself as a leader or a dictator. Keeping the politics aside, I decided to pick this query for our conversation this week as I really felt that this is one concept many have gotten wrong.
We often focus on the LEADER which is SUBJECTIVE, rather than LEADERSHIP, which is highly OBJECTIVE. Hence, I would like to take this opportunity to create future LEADERS who are created with the strong foundation and principles of Leadership, rather than becoming Self-Proclaimed Leaders driven by personal agendas just for the heck of it!
What is leadership?
A Leader in simple terms is a person who leads, commands or has the ability to create followers. But when we look at the concept of leadership, we realise that it leads to a bigger picture. Leadership isn’t about individuals, it’s about outcomes. Even though, we have made the usage of the term leadership so common that we fail to, even for a second, think how large the subject of leadership itself is...research has also said that it is the least understood concept across all cultures and civilizations of the world.
Are there different types of leaderships then?
That’s a big YES! The reason being, we need to understand that different situations demand different styles of leadership. As surprising as it may sound, even DICTATORSHIP is a main style of leadership which comes under the category or AUTOCRATIC LEADERSHIP. Funny isn’t it? The next important style of leadership is DEMOCRATIC style in which the Leader takes into consideration everyone’s opinion and takes a decision. After which, we have the FREE REIN style where the decision making itself is allowed by anyone who is a subordinate to the leader. These main styles of leadership also help define the qualities that are required by a leader in order to be effective.
Now, coming to the crux of our discussion. What are the qualities necessary for a leader? I would like to express my own set of traits that I have seen work wonders after observing the best leaders who I have rated on their ability to influence people.
The first most important trait, which I feel is the foundation for any individual to become a leader is TAKING INITIATIVE or INITIATION SKILLS. This one trait makes normal individuals become leaders overnight and also the vice versa. Taking initiative is nothing but ACTING or TAKING ACTION on a challenge, concern or inconvenience which is affecting one or many. It might be as simple of taking an initiative to clean your neighbourhood park or spreading awareness to the whole country and inspiring everyone to keep their area parks clean. The impact that you create with your initiative directly shows your leadership qualities.
Just having a Vision isn’t enough, the ability to Influence people to believe in that vision is equally important. Hence, the next important quality for a leader is the ability to MOTIVATE and INSTILL BELIEF. This is one of the toughest challenges of a leader and very few have been able to do this with ethics and principles. In order to be able to achieve this, a leader had to be CONSISTENT in his approach, not get affected by failures or drawbacks and most importantly PRACTISE what IS PREACHED. If a leader doesn’t believe in their own principles, how will it be able to Influence others to do the same right? Finally, the ONE QUALITY that I have personally believed in and seen work wonders is the INTENT.
My final word
Becoming a TRUE LEADER isn’t easy. It takes consistent effort and a clear and balanced mind. A mind that has the least bit of negativity and jealousy. As I personally believe the intention of every TRUE LEADER should be to UNCONDITIONALLY create more LEADERS rather than command more followers... I’m doing my best, will you?
With Regards,
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj
The Coach
I’m insecure about my best friend (girl). She is growing close to another male friend, who is also a friend of mine. I don’t know if there’s something happening between them but I don’t feel very happy about it. Is it my fault? Is this jealousy? Please tell me what I need to do to get past this whole feeling. Or does she need to change the way she’s acting? Help.My BFF
Feeling possessive about an individual of the opposite sex is normal, how you handle it shows your maturity.
The insecurity creeps in when they become friendly with another individual and you don’t want to lose that bond or let this NEW person snatch her from you. Understand you DON’T OWN HER! Rather than getting worried about this, focus on what’s important in your life. I’m a little brutal here as it is her decision. Whether it’s a good or bad one, time will tell. But being supportive of what she chooses is what makes you a BEST FRIEND. Even if you know something negative about the boy, the way you put it across to your best friend has to be delicate and sensitive.
Figure out why you’re feeling insecure. Are you not confident of getting another friend who’s a girl? Or are you too dependant on her? Etc. Once you figure this out, you need to come up with solutions like joining extra curricular activities to get more friends. Join a gym or sport or start meeting other friends.
If she had feelings for you she wouldn’t have become close to your friend or she might be looking at him as a friend, there’s no use jumping to conclusions. Also, if she is your true friend, she wouldn’t hurt you too. Keeping these in mind, trust her in whatever she’s doing and be supportive.
My son has passed Civil Engg with distinction but is not getting a job. He is now idle at home and is wasting time. I want to see him with a good job and settled. It is very difficult to see him this way. What should we do? Just Job
I have seen cases where the youth try their best and yet dot succeed. This frustration makes them disassociate from the experience and develop a IT WILL HAPPEN, WHEN IT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN attitude. It’s not wrong to depend on destiny, but it’s not right either. Also, marks and skills are generally inversely proportional. I’ve seen students with the highest marks fumble in interviews because of lack of communication skills. Lastly, we can take the horse to the water but not make it drink it. Only when self- realisation dawns he will pull up his socks.
So, first dig through your contacts and find if anyone can refer him to a good job. Parallely, you can find out if he’s interested in any course like architecture, which will add value to his degree. If it ignites his interests and you can afford it, you can make him pursue these.
Either by talking to him, getting feedback from interviewers or getting him to attend mock interviews, you need to analyse the areas that he is lacking in. Once you have this information, it’ll make it easier to analyse where he needs help.
I might sound harsh. But you seem to have pampered him for him to take this joblessness lightly. It’s time you start hinting to him about your financial situation (even if you are well settled). Just to make him serious and responsible, that’s when he’ll take the initiative and achieve.
I’m completed my PG but I can’t control my mind. I need peace. I’m childish in nature, the only girl child in my family, so everyone loves me. They don’t allow me out. I believe everything that people say without checking to see if they’re lying. I need to change my character. Life Hack
Actually speaking, you, yourself have given the answer to your question. How? Let me explain... Like you’ve already mentioned that you’re the only girl child in the family and have a lot of love from everyone around you. It shows that you’re over protected and also pampered. Your childish behaviour is what makes you adorable and makes them pamper you even more. Since you’ve been brought up in a very protected and PURE environment, it is natural for you to believe everyone as you feel everyone around you is also genuine like your family at home. But the world isn’t this way. If you believe everyone and if people come to know that you are so naive, rather than helping you with the truth... The maximum will try to exploit you. This is the harsh reality of life.
Here’s my advice for you,
The first thing is that, you need to understand that you will slowly understand and be able to SEE THROUGH PEOPLE as you grow, become more mature and become experienced. So give it time, you cannot change overnight.
Two, it’s almost impossible to gauge who’s telling you the truth and who’s not... So, the best thing to do would be to FILTER. Listen and absorb things only from people who matter to you, who are genuine with you and who love you like your family. Whatever the remaining people say... I’m not asking you not to BELIEVE IT, but I’m asking you NOT TO TAKE IT TO YOUR HEART.
I am getting very tense at the workplace and yell at the labourers, because they’re trying to cheat me. I am getting a bad name with my bosses and my doctor has asked me to reduce stress. How to deal with a situation like this? Help Me
Your health always comes first. If this is the amount of pressure, stress and tension that you need to go through and still the outcomes aren’t desirable... I would plainly advice you to change your job without any delay. Second, always remember that the mentality of casual labourers is generally hard to tame. They do not understand concepts of reward, recognition and responsibility. Their focus is short term pay, which is nothing but their wages. So you need to be able to somehow make them evolve to your level of thinking.
The first step that you need to take is analyse their behaviour, find out what motivates them and design a proper compensation system that will ensure that they work hard. In simple words, match their pay to their performance.
The next step is to design a simple reward scheme and give them extra incentives for working overtime, finishing their daily tasks or whatever performance indicator that you want them to achieve.
Finally, remember that shouting at them will not help. They would have gotten used to it. If nothing works, you have no option but to take strict action against them using your authority. Once you take action on the most inefficient ones, the others will automatically pull their socks up.
On a personal note, please join yoga classes and focus on breathing exercises. It’s a number one priority for you now.