BANGALORE: WE all know how Cleopatra beguiled Caesar with her irresistible charm and vivacity of her body. In ancient history, civilisations have been notable for their vehement acceptance of orgies and other fantasies. Royal consorts and concubines were a luxury offered to the cream of society. However, this chimera is no longer subjected to aristocracy. Modern times too has its own version of non-monogamous sexual activity, as ‘open-minded’ couples take a dive into the controversial world of swinging.
With the normalisation of homosexuality and legalisation of abortion, the sexual revolution of 1960s opened an entirely new era of relationships. People are constantly on the look-out for adventure and pleasure. In the 20th century, it is no longer uncommon to spot societies advocating this lifestyle of having multiple partners. And in India, the concept of couple swapping or swinging is predominant in metro cities like Mumbai, Bangalore, Delhi and Kolkata. Couples who have been in a relationship for a while and noticed that the buzz is beginning to wear off, are on a rampage to add a certain spice and zing to their sex lives.
“The whole idea of swapping partners is extremely enticing. And it was only natural for us to engage in this sub-cultural sexual lifestyle. Swinging has given us a rare opportunity to connect with ourselves. And believe it or not, it has strengthened our union. Of course, we wouldn’t want to get emotionally entangled or involved with any of them,” says Mehul and Sakshi (names changed), a couple from Bangalore.
In India, there are numerous swinging clubs that allow couples to interact with each other. Scores of clubs are popping up across the country and swinging conventions are drawing umpteen couples. Moreover online swinging portals are rapidly gaining popularity. With clandestine swinger parties being organised at every hook and corner of the city, an underground swinging scenario has now risen in Bangalore.
“We are an American couple who visit Bangalore very often. To be honest, we were quite surprised at the number of open-minded people here. Swinging culture is quite popular in India. Though it is the sheer thrill and curiosity that draw many young couples, it has severe emotional implications too. For instance, falling for someone or jealousy could lead to complications. And of course, there are chances of contracting AIDS and other STDs. This culture is for couples who just want to have a good time and are not looking for anything serious,” says Mark and Amy (names changed).
Interestingly, Charles Darwin gave jealousy a possessive connotation of mate owning mate. And this emotional state has not only proven to be disruptive for relationships but also has nasty consequences for couples indulging in swinging. Apart from contracting diseases and emotional breakdowns, there is also a very high possibility of couples drifting apart owing to guilt.
“My opinion on swinging is diametrically opposite to the character I played in Mixed Doubles,” says Koel Purie, who played a hip urbanite interested in spouse swapping, in the movie Mixed Doubles. “We live in an age of freedom. And, I believe that it is not mandatory for anyone to get into a serious relationship if he/she is unwilling for commitment. Today, the institution of marriage is no longer imposed on us. In fact, a healthy marriage does not require any of these practices. The whole concept of spicing up your married life by sleeping with someone else is probably a cover-up for deeper issues. However, I have no judgements on people indulging in such an act,” she adds.
Dr B N Gangadharan, professor of psychiatry, NIMHANS feels that couple swapping is just another alternative to seeking emotional support by physical encounters. “It is difficult to share an emotional experience with two different people in this context. Though it is a personal choice, it is psychologically unhealthy as people would rather suppress issues bothering them and resort to swinging, than confront their problems,” he added.
No longer is couple swapping prevalent only in the higher echelons of the society. Unlike the age-old notion of swingers being the royalty and nobility’s cup of tea, today’s self-proclaimed sexual pioneers have taken it up a notch. As one steps further into the realms of this fantasy, it is only natural to ask — is this rising trend a sign of a new wave of thinking?
akshatha@expressbuzz.com