BANGALORE: Adithi is happy with her boy-friend of 10 months. But she belongs to the school of thought that perhaps goes against the norms of the society. “I don’t want to get married. I think cohabitation works fine for me,” explains Adithi. Bangalore-based Adithi and Sunil, who have been in a live-in relationship for the past five months don’t believe in the institution of marriage due to personal reasons. But they have this to say, “Alimony or palimony...a live-in relationship is not just about the money.”
Thursday’s Supreme Court observation that all live-in relationships do not entitle a woman to palimony (financial support on the termination of the relationship), might have defined the criteria for relationships of such nature. But Adithi, a software techie says she does not look to her boyfriend for financial support at all. “I don’t think the issue of financial support arises at all,” she says. “And I don’t think I will want any compensation if we decide to call off the relationship. That’s one of the reasons why we don’t want to marry — to be free from the nature of an institution — financial or religious,” she adds.
The court also says that the couple must hold themselves out to society as being akin to spouses, to technically fall into the ‘live-in’ category. “But that is perhaps not always possible,” says Ruhi (name changed). She has been living with her boyfriend in Bangalore for the past seven months without the knowledge of her family. “If they come to know about this, I will be made to go back to my hometown,” she says. “But I am in a live-in relationship. I don’t have to tell it to my family or anyone else so that it will fall under the live-in category,” she adds. “The question whether we are in a live-in relationship will arise only if we separate and I ask for compensation. But I think I can take care of myself financially,” she notes.
Suchandra and Animesh (names changed), friends since school days have been in a live-in relationship for past 18 months. “Live-in for us was not by choice, but by chance. My partner’s dwelling, which I chose as a temporary arrangement in an unknown city, turned into live-in due to the lack of time and resource. Moreover, you tend to develop an emotional bond which further reduces the chances of staying apart,” says Suchandra.
Both are working and agree with the Supreme Court’s observation. “The term palimony was coined for women who are home makers and are financially dependent on their partner/spouse. The women partners in most of the cases of live-in relationships are working. In some cases they are earning even more than their male friend. Moreover, today’s working women are egoistic and give more importance to their self esteem, which lists out the chance of eyeing their partners money. For them the whole concept of palimony in live-in is morally incorrect. According to me there should be no question of palimony and the concept should be completely washed off,” says Suchandra.
For Rishi and Shefmi (names changed), staying together was a way paved to spend more time with each other. They also intended to make sure that they are compatible enough before they make a lifetime commitment. “We moved in together because we were and are very much in love. It’s always better to stay with a person you trust completely,” says Rishi.
He also feels that the Supreme Court’s observation is the right decision. “Palimony will ensure that one partner is not cheated by the other,” says Rishi. Shefmi is a student and financially dependent on her parents. “Even though she is not earning, I am not looking after her spending. She never even asks for money. So I feel that women today are more interested in achieving emotional support than financial,” says Rishi.
But there are others like Kimberley, a content writer based in the city, who are not afraid to say that they are in a live-in relationship.
“I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the past three years now. I have been however living with him for almost five months. The idea of marriage is good, but I need to build my career before I decide on getting married. The reason why I am in a live-in relationship is because I get to spend time with him. Marriage is a big decision and we are not ready yet,” she says.
“My parents also know about it so there is nothing to hide. But yes, I would want a compensation in case I split up in future,” she says.
bngexpresso@expressbuzz.com
