“Over two years ago, a senior citizen came to our organisation seeking shelter. On probing we realised that her elder son was District Commissioner of Mysore and her younger son was a manager in one of the reputed banks of the country. So we were initially reluctant to admit her in our old age home. Then she showed us a shoe scar on her back ‘given’ by her son. We realised her pitiful condition as she opened up and admitted her. It is even more lamentable when after few months her younger son constructed a house close to our organisation but did not even invite his mother for the house warming ceremony!” — Pamadi R Sampangi Rama Setty, secretary of Asaktha Poshaka Sabha, retirement home.
India is a country of irony. Right from the gap between the rich and the poor, abundance of food to the lack of it, a statistical framework of GDP, which according to statisticians, measures the birth of a calf as a blessing and that of a child as a tragedy, a low quality public health spending that is 1 per cent of the GDP, but a life expectancy which is estimated to have gone up from 31 years in 1947 to 66.8 years in 2011.
So, irony has been an unconscious part of Indian life. An emotional irony, which has been prevailing across the world, but has more significant impact on a developing country like ours is the family life. With days of joint family getting eradicated and nuclear families being the mantra, the emotion quotient plays a significant role. First, nine months in the tummy, then 18 to 23 years of caring, and then the recent trend of exploitation, neglect and isolation of the old parents by their children.
What has become of this irony is a job for NGO, a CSR for corporates and a blessing for some builders. Studies have found that globally 3 to 5 per cent of the old live in institutions, 17 per cent live with spouse and another 13 per cent live in single person households, leaving the overwhelming majority of the old to live with their children. The attitude shown by children towards parents have many reasons. It could be due to the economic condition of the family, congested accommodation, health conditions of the elderly, scarcity of care providers or even problems of adjustment between the elderly and the family members.
With this, the concept of old age homes which was alien in India earlier has now become a necessity.
A popular concept of the west has found it way in India due to changing social dimensions and also due to the financial independence. Pamadi R Sampangi Rama Setty, secretary of Asaktha Poshaka Sabha, a retirement home that provides basic facilities free of cost said, “Every year, the number of people seeking shelter in retirement homes is rising, which is a bad sign. While the reason may be due to nuclear families, there are many instances, for example, parents abandoned while children go overseas to pursue their career.” The concept of retirement resorts or complexes is gradually emerging as the most viable option among the senior members of society who are financially independent. Many elders have started walking out of their own home because they run out of tolerance.
A growing number of financially capable senior citizens now prefer to stay in retirement resorts instead of languishing in old-age homes that they feel are overcrowded and unsafe.
Though there are many old age homes in the city, most retirement resorts or complexes are not affordable. But there are few which are trying to come out of the established perception that an old age home may be worse than their experience at their children’s home.
One such retirement home is Asaktha Poshaka Sabha in V V Puram which was started in 1933 and has over 168 senior citizens. The president of the organisation Padmashri Dr B L S Murthy, said, “We run this organisation based on the donations and funds we receive from various private organisations from across the city. On an average, we spend close to `18,000 per person, per year. This old age home caters mainly to people who are Below Poverty Line (BPL).” The well-maintained home also provides medical facilities to its inmates. The doctors and nurses cater to the day-to-day health problems of the residents.
“14 years ago, my husband and my only daughter met with an accident. At the same time, my mother was paralysed and bed-ridden. I took care of her for five years. A year after my mother’s death, my father expired and now I am alone. Though I have a house yet I am an orphan at the fag end of my life. But after coming here, I feel I am safe and secure,” says an inmate. Many inmates are satisfied with their decision to join retirement homes. “As I am not financially dependent on my children, it was my personal decision to enjoy my retirement life in the old age home. ,” said an inmate of this organisation.
The organisation provides shelter not only to senior citizens, but is also home to orphan children who are below 10 years of age. “There are 48 children in this organisation. Our aim is to provide them primary education and facilities. Once the child completes 10 years, we send them back to their guardians,” said Rama Setty, the secretary of the retirement home. The children and their guardians or parents, these children are sent to their homes for vacations to build a healthy bond. With an ever increasing number of old people and abandoned children, such centres are becoming the final ray of hope for the aged and the children.