BENGALURU: Evident chemistry and the idea of getting together with someone you are already so comfortable with - I’ve been on that rollercoaster ride too. Is it possible for it to have a happy ending?
I’ve never subscribed to the view that girls and guys can’t be best friends. After all, I’ve been best friends with several guys, and no – not all of them have turned into romantic flings.
I think we’ve all had that silver screen moment, where you’ve known each other your whole lives and then suddenly your eyes meet across the room and things are – different.
With so much undeniable chemistry, why not just jump in?
First, you have to get over the inevitable question: Should you even try?
We’re kindred spirits, love each other’s company and are both single. Sounds perfect, right? Then you start thinking - Will it get awkward or would things be normal? What if things don’t work out? Will we still be friends?
Of course, figuring out what you are really looking for is an important first step. Do you want him to be your one true love or is it just desire steering your thought process? A fling would not be a good idea, after all, you’ve spent so many years working on this friendship.
Is the other person interested as well?
It’s important to figure out if the other person is interested in you before you make your move. You don’t want to be left without a partner and a friend. So, I started looking for signs.
The little hints which could be conversations about how good you guys are together, or you’re the only one who really gets the other persons drift. Even throwing in a lingering hug or being seemingly jealous about prospective partners are giveaways. If that’s happening to you - wake up and smell the coffee!
Should BFFs matter more?
Sure, they should. But it’s pretty hard being friends with someone you’re always yearning for.
I’ve had a lot of friends who were ex-boyfriends, so I can say that it does work - but you both need to be really secure and mature people for that to happen.
The need to save the friendship
The way the relationship ends can affect how things work out. If you value what you had with the individual, then make sure to end things on a cordial, if not good note. It’s wise never to allow things to get bitter. Of course, it’s not always a decision you are at liberty to make, the other person might not want to stay friends and you have to respect that.
But, the more you think about it you will realise, that’s more or less an issue with any relationship in your life! So don’t let this hold you back.
Stop thinking and start acting
If there were a recipe for a happily ever after, you’d be reading it right now. You’ve got to make things happen in your own unique way. If you are falling for your friend, tell them - make the move and let things roll. Save yourself from looking back with regret if you didn’t.
The writer is an expert on relationships and co-founder of www.floh.in, a curated network that connects singles in real life.