BENGALURU: Who would have thought a Mandela can get raped? And yet I was. In my own home, by my own partner, while my grandfather was alive,” said Ndileka Mandela, who is the granddaughter of the former president of South Africa, the late Nelson Mandela. In town for the International Women’s Conference held at The Art of Living International Centre, Ndileka spoke to CE about the weight of carrying her famous surname, which she said is definitely easy. “People think you have money and don’t suffer from hardships but that’s not true,” she said, pointing out how her grandfather suffered in prison.
In her recently released memoir, titled I Am Ndileka: More Than My Surname, the social activist and former nurse, who was the eldest grandchild of Nelson Mandela, talks about the many highs and lows she faced in life, including dealing with death in her family, patriarchy, motherhood, depression, being homeless and surviving rape and abuse. “We aren’t immune to suffering. Yes, it has its advantages – I could walk to any country and have an audience there. But it’s a double-edged sword too,” she told CE.
Currently, in her 50s, Ndileka was 16 the first time she met her grandfather in prison. “Rules needed you to be a certain age to visit inmates,” she explained as she recalled one of two of her “memorable moments” with him. Despite having to make contact with him through a window, the instance left an indelible mark on her and she still remembers the first question he asked her: ‘Have you got a pap smear yet?’ Having had a strict upbringing with her grandmother, the query left the teenager red-faced but was enough to break the ice.
Her second favourite memory of him comes from time they spent together in 2012, just before the prominent politician passed away in 2013. The two were watching a film together, which, interestingly, was a documentary on him. “I always watched to watch a movie with him but I never got to do it much because, in some sense, he became everybody’s grandfather,” she said with a small smile. “But if I could, I would freeze that moment I had with him.”
Ndileka was one of the speakers at the conference and was all praise for the session that Nepali Supreme Court Judge Sapna Pradhan Malla was a part of. The judge spoke about her passion for bringing about legal changes and how it has benefitted the women of the country. Calling her speech a huge takeaway, Ndileka said, “The topic was close to my heart because of what I had to endure. I hope the sexual violence laws in my country change too.”