You would have to bring that up, wouldn’t you?” Julian replied, his eyes revealing the remnants of that mischievous twinkle he was once well known for.
“Anyway I rushed down to the courthouse and had another argument with one of the clerks. By the time I got back to the office, there were twenty-seven phone messages waiting for me, all marked ‘urgent.’ Need I go on?”
“Please do.”
“Well on the way home, Jenny called me in the car and asked me to stop by her mother’s house and pick up one of those amazing pies my mother-in-law is famous for. Problem was that when I took that exit, I found myself in the middle of a gridlock that was worse than anything I have seen in ages. So there I was, in the middle of rush-hour traffic, in ninety-five-degree heat, shaking with stress and feeling that even more time was slipping away.”
“How did you respond?”
“I cursed the traffic,” I said with complete honesty. “I was actually shouting out loud inside my car. Do you want to know what I said?”
“I don’t think that would be the kind of thing that would nourish the garden of my mind,” Julian responded with a soft smile.
“But it might make for good fertilizer.”
“No thanks. Maybe we should stop there. Just take a second and look at your day. Obviously, in retrospect, there are at least a few things that you would do differently if you had the chance.”
“Obviously.”
“Like what?”
“Hmm. Well, first, in a perfect world I would get up earlier. I don’t think I’m doing myself any favors by hitting the ground running. I’d like to have a little peace in the morning and ease myself into the day. The Heart of the Rose technique you told me about earlier sounds like it would be fun. Also, I really would like to have the family around the breakfast table, even if only for a bowl of cereal. It would give me a better sense of balance. I always seem to feel that I never spend enough time with Jenny and the kids.”
“But it is a perfect world, and you have a perfect life. You do have the power to control your day. You do have the power to think good thoughts. You do have the power to live your dreams!” Julian observed, his voice rising. “I am realizing this. I really am starting to feel that I can change.”
“Great. Continue reflecting on your day,” he instructed. “Well, I wish I hadn’t yelled at my client. I wish I hadn’t argued with the court clerk and I wish I hadn’t screamed at the traffic.”
“The traffic doesn’t care, does it?”
“It just keeps on being traffic,” I noted. “I think you now see the power of the Ritual of Personal Reflection. By looking at what you are doing, how you are spending your day and the thoughts you are thinking, you give yourself a benchmark for measuring improvement. The only way to improve tomorrow is to know what you did wrong today.”
“And come up with a clear plan so that it doesn’t happen again?” I added.
“Precisely. There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. Mistakes are part of life and essential for growth. It’s like that saying, ‘Happiness comes through good judgment, good judgment comes through experience, and experience comes through bad judgment.’ But there is something very wrong with making the same mistakes over and over again, day in and day out. This shows a complete lack of self-awareness, the very quality that separates humans from animals.”
“I’ve never heard that one before.”
“Well it’s true. Only a human being can step out of himself and analyze what he is doing right and what he is doing wrong. A dog cannot do this. A bird cannot do this. Even a monkey cannot do it. But you can. This is what the Ritual of Personal Reflection is all about. Figure out what is right and what is wrong in your days and in your life. Then set about making immediate improvements.” “Lots to think about, Julian. Lots to think about,” I offered reflectively.
Excerpt from The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
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