CHENNAI: I was always an odd, chubby child who grew up sensitive to criticism and mockery. I constantly felt unworthy and rejected. This must be why I grew up with less human and more animal friends. Life keeps changing, pressures add on. That’s how the heart shuts down and the brain kicks in. I wasn’t any different.
I woke up each day, worked, retired to bed and woke up to work. There was little time to think or express my feelings or relax.
One morning things changed when we found, on the street, a little, black furball. This puppy was unable to walk and lay there trying to crawl. She needed help to lift her head and eat or drink. She seemed paralysed neck down and abandoned by her mother. We took her in. Then, she needed us to lift her tiny paws and take her first steps.
From that day on, I felt loved unconditionally. She loved me however I looked or dressed.My routine changed and I woke up with her or slept on to avoid waking her up. I washed her tiny face each morning and afterwards she followed us into the prayer room. Her morning routine was a lot like ours.
I began to wait for her to sit beside me for every meal and began feeding her a morsel or two. I began sleeping in odd positions and suffered being kicked around by her so that she could sleep soundly.
Not one of these things felt wrong or tiring. Without realising it, I had become a parent. I started to realise my ability for compassion and stopped gauging my worth through another’s opinion. She had taught me, once more, the power of patience and forgiveness.
Her eyes reaffirmed my faith in the innocence and honesty that exists in the world. In me, she found a parent, a saviour, a friend and a guide. In her, I found my spiritual awakening, a guru and a therapist.
My little Chutki, a desi dog, won my heart over and gave me a confidence to just be myself without trying to be what others wanted me to be.
The writer is a dermatologist.
Her other dog Bambi was titled the ‘Cutest in India’ by PETA