Summer has always liked to introduce itself as a season of freedom.
It arrives in Hawai chappals, sun-drenched, carrying the smell of sweat. In its stories, children run wild, laughing, playing, napping, and living as though it is the only drill they have known. It presents itself as a kind of redemption, as an invitation for children to reclaim the child within them, to set aside the mandates of learning, and loosen the grip of routine. And so, to the world, summer insists it is a gift.
But summer has a way of telling only half the story.
For primary caregivers of children, the season lingers differently. It lurks around as parents sit with calendars that suddenly need to be filled, managed, or supervised. While children see possibility, parents see pressure which stems from concerns of keeping their children safe, engaged, and somehow happy in a season that comes with its own demands.
It is often their stories that summer softens, edits, or completely leaves out. But they exist in the margins of its bright narrative. Perhaps it is time to listen, to step away from summer’s storytelling, even if only for a moment, and hear the voices that do not rise easily above the noise.
Before it arrives
Parents that CE approached say that the preparation for summers begin much before it arrives. They find themselves spending more time scheduling play dates, splitting household and parental responsibilities, figuring out extra-curricular activities and summer camp options, among others.
Srimathi prioritises planning in a manner that allows both her and her husband to be present at different time periods of the day for their children, ensuring it doesn’t affect their day-to-day responsibilities. Jasper Charlotte, a mom who works as a tech lead in a private company, confesses to planning a flexible schedule, by thinking about learning activities her daughter can engage in, encouraging free play, and also including physical activities.
Many of these decisions go beyond thought and are often met with doubt. Krutasha Ramanuj, who works from home for a PR agency says, “Everyone has their own point of view. While some say that children should be in summer camps or other such activities to be engaged, many opine that this is the time they can spend leisurely at home. While these are just conversations in my surroundings, they do make me pause and re-think whatever I am doing.”
When it arrives
Children thrive best in a routine that isn’t too rigid, but is steady enough to keep them engaged. Summer, however, breaks that rhythm completely. Krutasha says, “The biggest factor that contributes to my mental exhaustion during summers is the disruption of routine. Earlier, the first half of the day was predictable and productive for both me and my son. Now, there is a constant need to keep him engaged and it feels like I am running behind him all the time. The lack of those few uninterrupted hours that school provided, significantly adds to my mental load.”
Sanjayani Kumaresan, an IT Engineer, also highlights with an example of what the disruption in routine leads to. “Last year, during summer break I was working so my daughter had to be at home with my parents. During that time, she was just watching TV or playing with my dad. She lost her routine over the six weeks of vacation. She became lazy, didn’t want to go to school after the vacation, and I struggled to get her back to a routine.”
For parents today, the challenge isn’t just the loss of routine for their children, but for themselves too. Juggling work and parenthood, summer unsettles the balance they rely on. The challenge, Krutasha says, is to keep a structure in place along with the flexibility that holidays bring in. “For example, my son’s grandparents feel that the rules can be relaxed as it’s vacation time and they want to play with him till late in the night. While it comes from a place of affection, I know the difficulties I will face the next day as sleeping late means waking up late. I am usually done with feeding my son breakfast before my morning team meeting, but pushing his bed time will clash with my routine the next morning,” she explains.
She also adds that her husband returns home from work expecting to unwind, while she would wish for him to take over the task of handling her son, and take a break from working and parenting all day. “So, overall, the combination of a disturbed routine and active engagement contributes to exhaustion during summer vacations,” she admits.
Highlighting her ordeal, Jasper highlights that her juggling, backed with lack of consistency in maintaining a routine and her child’s constantly changing moods and interests, make it difficult to stick to a plan.
Coping strategies: Take the support of extended family (if you can); Include kids in household chores to keep them occupied; Enroll kids in short-term summer camps or classes; Try to find ‘me time’ to reset yourself; Stay connected with other parents and share experiences to feel less alone
All these combined, leaves parents with no time for themselves. Krutasha says, “Earlier, I used to finish all my office work when he used to be in school and during his afternoon naps, which gave me enough ‘me time’ at night after putting him to sleep. Now since the school is shut, I ultimately end up finishing my work when he is sleeping during the day and at night which does not leave me with any time for myself.” This lack of time for themselves to unwind also results in parents not being able to recharge their batteries for the next day, leading to continuous mental fatigue and heightened irritability, Jasper notes.
Alongside this comes another looming concern: screen time. Once incidental, it now fills the gaps that routine once held. Paired with the long, unstructured stretch of summer, it slips from convenience into excess. Krutasha puts it simply: “I can see a pattern where sometimes when my son is bored of free play or independent play, he demands my attention and if I am unable to do so, he demands screen time.” She even calls screen time as a practical suppor because of limited activity for him to do.
Sanjayini, too, admits to this pattern, but has found a way to ensure that her daughter’s screen time is spent on learning something useful. “We (she and her husband) make sure our daughter just doesn’t watch any random cartoon. I mostly try to give her some activity based videos to learn from. Khan’s Academy is one such app which I find to be really useful,” she informs.
Increased screen time is also exposing children to content that sets unrealistic expectations about how holidays must be spent. Jasper, who has faced this issue with her daughter says, “As a parent, this creates subtle pressure to match those experiences, even when it may not align with my priorities or schedule. I try to handle this by having open conversations with my child, helping her to understand that every family’s routine is different, and that enjoyment doesn’t always have to come from such expectations.”
As it draws to an end
Beneath all of this lingers the weight of parental guilt. The question of whether parents are doing enough, offering enough, being present enough. Whether their child is gathering the right experiences, learning what they should, and gaining something meaningful out of these long, unstructured days of vacation, seems to take over parents’ minds at the end of every summer break.
Kavitha, who only recently re-joined the workforce, shares that she and her husband have the constant fear of not doing enough since their work schedule comes in the way of everything they plan for their eldest son. Even enrolling in sports or summer camps are posing difficulties since they require one of the parents to drop and pick the child up during work hours. She admits, “After the summer holidays started, I’ve even been wondering whether I should quit my job or go back to teaching, which was my previous job, where I might have a little more time to spend with my children. Seeing other kids going to camps and summer programmes is only adding to our guilt, even though we’re trying our best within our circumstances.”
Krutasha seconds the guilt. “As a mom, the guilt is constant! I feel this need to compensate for the time I can’t give him because of my work.”
And when all fails, parents say they turn to their spouse to maintain a sense of balance in their children’ s lives. Srimathi concludes, “One of us has to keep the boat sailing properly.”