A walk down memory lane Sriram Karri and Deepa, first met at the Young Orators Club of Secunderabad(YOCS).
“By the time Sriram finished his speech, I was shaking. I had to meet this guy. The time for wrapping things up came and I remember meeting his eyes and my heart did a typical Bollywood drop-and-thump to the bottom of my stomach. It is a very hard feeling to describe. It was fear, a moment of realising that this is it. I am no romantic, and even today, I can’t believe I felt that way,” shares Deepa.
Being an author he may be expressive but it took weeks for him to even wish her. “When we met at YOCS, I remember walking up rather nervously to talk to her, and for the first time, I could not find a word to say. It was like that for a few weeks, before the first hello was said,” recalls Sriram and adds, “From the first moment itself I knew that I was in love with her.”
I Knew I was in love
“I was in the US and Sriram called me to read out a story that was dear to him – a short story by Jeffery Archer. He got so choked up as he got to the end that he couldn’t finish. He said he was going to hang up. I guess he thought he did and put his phone in his pocket - I just couldn’t bring myself to cut the call. After I finally cut the call, I called him right back and said yes, let us get married,” says Deepa.
Wedding Butterflies
The big day finally arrived. Expressing her fear of how she would even be able to do this runaway and get married thing, Deepa says, “Ever since I was a kid and the idea of marriage crossed my mind, I had always assumed I would have an arranged marriage and marry the nice Tamil Iyer boy that my parents chose. I did not expect to fall madly in love and reach a point where I thought the only option was to go ahead and hurt the entire family. It is something my family has not still completely healed from even after all these years. Did I do the right thing? I don’t know. These are difficult questions to answer. My parents still think that I could have done a lot better than Sriram. But I cannot think of a life he is not a part of.”
“I agree with her parents a lot. My biggest fear was if she would be able to hold herself through the day – and we were both going through a complex mix of contradictory emotions – excitement, happiness, fear, anxiety and sadness – all meshed. The prospect of starting a new phase of life was exciting, and we were nervous about how her family will respond,” he says..
Runaway Wedding
Right after the whole ceremony was over, the runaway wedding at a broken down Arya Samaj “temple”, and a small reception, Deepa called her mother and broke the news to her.
“She was devastated. I remember sitting down with a drink with a few close friends who stayed back till late in the night. Sriram came and sat down beside me. We started making last minute plans to head to Maldives. At that moment, I felt calm and happy. Until then, the whole day was a blur,” she says.
“I was amazed by the grace and calm she could muster while fighting a storm within. I had my family and friends around, she had only a few but best of her friends,” adds Sriram.
The best part of relationship
It is a rare relationship that doesn’t hit rough patches. “In the early days, “I am going out for a smoke,” was code for let us talk this thing out. Now, we have a new code – like Titanic, or Baahubali – yes, that sounds funny, and one of us says the word and we have to take some time to cool off. Sriram goes for a walk, I just go watch some mindless television, after a while, we try and talk it out,” says Deepa.
“We fight, shout, and break things. And then just back off. Calling the truce, getting some lone time, and coming back to make up. Saying sorry, talking it calmly and start all over again – is absolutely the best part of life and its domestic fights,” he explains.
Falling in love, everyday
Sriram finds new things about her to think about and admire, and it becomes love in no time.
“I read this article recently that I think it really sums it up well. Simply put, it is empathy and making the effort to listen. It is a lot harder than it sounds, but as long as we make the effort to try and understand what the other is going through and consciously listen to every little thing we are trying to say to each other, we know we are still in amazing love’s grip. I suspect we should be old and grey together before we know it,” she is hopeful.
The couple, who is happily married for six years, feel, “Given half a chance, we would love to repeat every single mistake.”
Deepa shares, “I can talk to him about anything and what I have to say is really important to him,” she says and he adds, “She is a better listener than me, or anyone I know. And she is a sharp critic. I trust her judgement and ask for advice. And she is a friend above all, who shares interests in ideas, books, arts, countries afar, and all things wonderful. She is a great force of support and fuels me. It is not the magic of being married as much as being married to her.”
Varied interests
So, what’s your favourite thing about each other?
Deepa says, “Sriram is dependable. I know I can count on him. I know he will be there to catch me if I fall. But what drew me to him in the first place is that his mind is the sharpest I have ever come across till today. And he has kept his promise. He told me we would never have a dull day in our life together.”
And he adds, “She is someone who constantly needs to be active, and do something. She likes a busy day and I get fascinated by that constantly, her grace under pressure.”
