It’s been 25 years, but Dr Ramesh Kancharla remembers that second as if it was yesterday. He says, “I always knew she was the one for me.”
“I met my wife Padma very traditionally. I was in my final year MBBS and probably wasn’t ready for marriage then, I wasn’t even thinking about it. I had couple of options like it would be for most guys at my age. I could either tell my parents if I was keen on marrying someone or go with my parents choice. However, this choice was made for me by my parents when they asked me to see Padma in Visakhapatnam while I was studying in Tirupati,” says Ramesh, who is also the chief of gastroenterology and hepatology Unit at Rainbow.
Journey begins
They didn’t struggle to get to know each other. They met after their families decided a date for them. They started on a journey with a stranger with more faith than love. “Padma’s family was already known to my family very well. However, I hadn’t seen Padma before although I had seen her father and brothers. I did speak to my cousin, who knew Padma, about her attitude and it was postive -- friendly and down to earth. Finally, I met her. However, I couldn’t decide then and felt some pressure when my parents started telling me to go ahead with the marriage. I was possibly not ready for marriage then. I was guided by my brother to go ahead as he felt that the family was good and that we know each other,” he says.
The initial reservations
“My engagement was planned since my brother was leaving for the UK. I was in the middle of my medicine final year exams. I never imagined that I would get married in such a hurry between two final clinical exams. It was more of exam pressure than joy of being engaged. During my engagement I could spend only a few hours and could hardly talk to her. I subsequently moved to Vishakapatnam for internship and got a chance to know Padma more properly,” he adds. “During our initial meetings I was perhaps more reserved while she was more vocal and communicative.”
Long-lasting bond
It was a big fat wedding and their first year of marriage was spent discovering the good, the tolerable and the annoying bits. “We got married. It was a very high profile marriage as my in-laws were very well connected people. Although it was a new family for me I got very close to them. My brother-in-laws became my good friends. My wife calls me mama and people used to get confused as they thought we were related which isn’t the case. She wasn’t sure how to address me and thus did so,” says Ramesh, who is also involved in the pediatric liver transplantation programme in association with Global Hospital.
“Being married to Padma has been the most wonderful blessing in my life. Since ours was an arranged marriage, the first few months of our marriage was the time when we got to know each other more and learned about each other’s desires, likes, dislikes, and most importantly attitude,” he says.
“Post my marriage I decided to move to Chennai to pursue my training and started working in a children’s hospital and spent three years in Mangalore to complete my Post Graduation and during that time we were only together for one-and-a-half years. Soon after completion of my MD I moved to the UK and Padma joined me later. We stayed there for for six to seven years,” says Ramesh.
The best moment
The couple, who has a son Adarsh, says, “We wanted a child but there were delays due to health concerns. That time we were both stressed and frustrated. But all that was gone when we were blessed with our son.” “She has always loved children and was a perfect example of motherhood. She devoted all her time in the upbringing of our child and gave all the love and care,” he says positively.
“After he was born, I started focusing on my career and there were times when I was away, but this time since our child was there my wife didn’t feel that low. Then we moved to Hyderabad in 1999,” he states.
Extending family
The more they spent time together, the more they fell in love. “My wife has never really complianed about anything apart from the fact that we couldn’t spend much time together. She has really become a part of me. Whenever she goes to her parents I start missing her and at times don’t want to go home as she isn’t there,” he says and adds, “Now that my son has moved to Chennai to study MBBS. Fortunately my son got hold of a little puppy Rio from beagle family. At first my wife wasn’t very keen on having the dog at home but as time passed she has become much attached to him as well. They both are so connected now that they know each other’s moods. We recently moved to a new house. My wife really loves driving and Rio always tags along with her and enjoys his rides.”
Staying strong
Every relationship has its share of ups and downs, but they have learned to give each other space. They feel, there’s a set formula for marriage to work. It is the people who have to make it work. It’s almost 25 years years, they have kept their promises to each other. They fight, quarrel like any other couple, but they keep the communication open and talk positively. “I don’t bring business at home so that we can be very relaxed and can enjoy the atmosphere. We enjoy each other’s company. Nowadays, she enjoys being a part of CEO club retreats and social series. Over the years we have learnt to handle each other. Even though there are times where we don’t agree with each other and quite often she leaves the decision making to me,” reveals Ramesh.
Over a period of time, love has been a gradual process. “I always wanted to marry someone who could be very supportive in managing family life and give enough time to children and after 26 years of marriage I can confidently say that I have got a life partner who has fulfilled all of my dreams,” he affirms.
