HYDERABAD: Instant Rejection
Ours was an arranged marriage. My husband VR Janak used to work as a senior manager in Syndicate Bank and has recently taken voluntary retirement. My father used to work in Indian railways and so, my family used to move a lot. I spent all my childhood and teens in north India. After finishing my graduation, we moved to Chennai where my father continued working. After five to six months in Chennai, someone from my father’s office brought this match for me. I bluntly rejected it because I wanted to study further and also because Janak was eight years elder to me and I thought that it would not work.
Twist in the Tale
Although I rejected the match, Janak was hell-bent saying he would marry only me. But I was not ready to get married so soon. After giving a lot of thought and considering the fact that only after my marriage would my siblings get married, I finally said yes. We got married on September 3, 1981 in Tirupati.
Adapting to marriage
I was born and brought up in North India. A south Indian girl, raised in north India, I was really scared and skeptical about settling into a typical south Indian family. But my in-laws were really friendly and I quickly adapted to their lifestyle. My father and my father-in-law were colleagues at work and knew each other very well. And so, my father decided to marry me off to his colleague’s son thinking ‘a known devil is better than an unknown angel’.
New family, new traditions
I was both nervous excited in the days leading up to the marriage. Nervous because I had my own apprehensions of getting into a joint family and about how they would accept me. But the way I was brought up, I was sure I would adjust very soon. Although we belong to the same community, my husband’s family speaks Marathi and I used to speak Telugu in my house. That was another thing I was nervous about. But eventually, everything worked out perfectly.
Those long waits and small talks
Post our engagement, my husband used to send post cards with captions and write letters to me. Just short letters enquiring about my health, my preparation for the wedding and all that. But I used to write back really long letters asking about his likes and dislikes, trying to understand him. Sometimes, he used to call me and we used to speak for really long time. I enjoyed every moment of it!
The perfect family
We have two sons, Abhinav and Anirudh. Our children are the added ingredients of our happiness. They complete us and have cemented our bond forever.
Favourite thing
Janak is a foodie and he likes my cooking very much. After marriage, I learnt to cook Marathi food for him and he admires that very much. He always insists that I explore new cuisines and cook it. And when I do, it makes him really happy.
That full moon night by the lake
We went to Kashmir to celebrate our honeymoon. It was only a few days after our wedding. Although my husband booked flight tickets for the both of us, we somehow didn’t make it on that flight.
Instead, a taxi driver offered to drive us through Kashmir, Jammu and Srinagar. I was very scared because we were traveling with a stranger. And at one point, in the middle of the night, he stopped the car by a lake and told us to step out. I was really scared and kept clutching my husband’s arm. But he showed us a sight we would never forget. It was a full-moon night and the silvery light was shimmering upon the lake. Under the moon-lit night, we stood in awe at the sight, and scared too.
That was one adventurous honeymoon which is still fresh in my memory.
Fights and resolutions
The hardest thing about marriage is trying to convince your spouse to do something. I always try talking him into going for a jog or to exercise. But I eventually give in and let him be. Yes, every marriage has fights. We do fight a lot. But eventually we end up talking to each other.
Support system
My husband is a very supportive. He respects every decision I make. After my elder son was born, I decided to continue my studies. My husband welcomed this decision whole-heartedly. Even when Shekhar Kammula approached me for the role in Happy Days he readily said yes and was more excited than I was. My sons too were very happy and backed me in every step of my career. They are my biggest support system as well as my critics too.
Key to a happy marriage
Everything has a positive and a negative side. But the negative side should not stop one from achieving whatever they want. Marriage is a huge responsibility, but a person should accept his/her companions’ merits and flaws to stay happy. That itself leads to a happy marriage.